Guiding Our Son

Well, for those of you paying attention to my various posts over the last month or so, you'll know that we've been on a bit of a roller coaster with our 13 yo ds. His homework and school habits are atrocious and that has caused no end of consternation on my part because I was always a straight A student who took pride in homework being done. I haven't been able to understand his lack of pride in the area.

But in trying to help him to help himself, I am seeing so much more clearly how God works in our lives. And I see how He works as a Father to us all. Last week we had to get after our son again because he has been lying about the homework being done. I'm finding I have to actually ask to see the completed work to verify it being done. As a result, we realized that he's gotten in the habit of lying about it. It's always easier to lie, because then Mom will back off....until Mom sees the grades and then Mom is madder because now the work is half credit or less.

But at the same time he is asking for more independence...and why can't he just do it on his own...and so on. He's started asserting his will; he's quit piano lessons and is refusing to eat when he's sure he won't like it. It's so frustrating to see him making choices that are so bad for him.

The one area that we won't back down on is school work. So last week as we talked to him, yet again, about all this, and I explained how the system we've put in place comes from his Heavenly Father and is meant to be a brace to help him to do what he should be doing, I could suddenly see that the many commandments and scriptures and leaders that God has around us, supports us in ways that we hardly realize. And that my effort as a parent is the same as God's effort as a parent. I was so grateful for that tiny glimpse of the eternal in the efforts we are making to guide our son.

This same son has recently been put into a back brace because he has scoliosis. He is working up to wearing it 18 hours a day. I mentioned to him that this new brace was a metaphor...that like his back growing in such a way that it is causing him problems, his school habits have done the same thing. And now we've attempted to create a system that puts a very uncomfortable brace against him with the goal re-aligning his efforts to what will make him stronger and straighter in the long run.

Again, as I explained that to him, I wondered about the uncomfortable back braces that God may put in our lives. Do we accept them and try to grow from them? Or fight them and refuse to be pushed around?...even though they'll stengthen and straighten us and make us who we need to be in the long run. OR Do we work with them to make them as effective as we possibly can? and thus grow in new ways that continually bless our lives.

Ah...God is so good to us. He braces us in many more ways than I think we know and while we think it's uncomfortable, even painful, the end result is worth it all. My brief view of these things comes from my effort to guide my son, but I know that my effort is miniscule to what his Heavenly Father is attempting to do for him. Because He is guiding His son too. My son is His son. And as we guide Our son...all things are possible.