Trial of nothing

So! I reported in my blog last week that I'd spent a week doing nearly nothing. I DID start my office curtains so that was good and I did somewhat maintain my scripture study. Oh and I showered and put make-up on every day. But that's about it. I could have gotten SOOOO much more done.

However, one day last week, I didn't have my scriptures near me when I was wanting to do my study and picked up the Joseph Smith manual instead. I read the lesson on overcoming adversity, because I have felt so weighted down by no one caring enough to give me something of value to do. I know that sounds strange but I was really struggling with the fact that there were no expectations in my life. It made me feel as if no one cared about me and that I have no value beyond being a cook, maid, and chauffeur to rather ungrateful children. Those who know me, know that I thrive on activity and service and not having those assigned to me in some way was just difficult for me to handle.

But in reading the chapter on overcoming adversity, the thought came to me that right now my "trial" is nothing. Nothing has been given to me for a reason and I need to decide how to handle it. Well, that was quite a kick in the pants for me, because I have always thought of myself as good at handling trials and I was seriously failing at this one. I finished the chapter and got to my feet and worked on my office curtains and made a good dinner and helped my kids with their homework.

Because if "nothing" is my trial from God...the thing I need to learn and grow from...I am NOT going to fail at it. Thinking of this as something to overcome has totally changed my attitude about my nothing. Clearly this is the time for me to accomplish much.

Here's the tough part though. Physically, I have felt good in the last week, that is I have had no pain because I have not been causing my body any pain (except my rear end which is a little sore from sitting in my office chair in front of a movie!!). As soon as I started doing, the pain in my sternum came back and has remained. So I am looking at pain for doing something which saves my spirit or no pain for doing nothing which will destroy my spirit. Lovely trade-off, huh? I'm choosing to save my spirit as much as my body can handle though, because someday, I'm going to get a new body and I want the spirit to match the body's glory.

I am going to beat this one!