When Is 'Enough' Enough???

I used to focus on how the trials I am facing, were for the exclusive purpose of teaching me something, that I was being put through the refiner’s fire….and then it hit me one day, that sometimes the trials we are faced with, might in actuality sometimes be more for the purpose of teaching our children something….that they are being refined for a purpose….being prepared, molded and shaped in specific ways so that they will be able to serve the Lord in specific ways, for specific purposes that the Lord has in store for them.

We may sometimes question why the Lord is withholding certain blessings while we feel we are keeping certain commandments, when in reality that withholding of that specific blessing----say that of money or material things----may be the very blessing in disguise that our children might need, in order to teach them a certain lesson that the Lord wants them to learn…..something that might just shape them into becoming what He wants them to become.

When we were first married….we had nothing. We were poor, young college students. We rented a very small basement studio apartment---it was one room----the bed came out of the wall----came complete with cockroaches even. We had our first baby 10 months later. His bed was like a little crate and his toys were things like empty babywipe containers and empty dishwashing soap bottles. Our first 5 years of marriage, 3 children later, we lived this way-----excited to discover 50 cents in the cracks of the old sofa, so that we could buy 5 more packs of Ramen Noodles.

Finally my husband graduated from college, was blessed with a job with Ford Motor Company and off we moved across the country.
We still struggled even with the good job, to pay off student loans and discovered rent in Michigan for a small apartment to be 4 times the rent we had paid back in Utah. The struggle continued but over the years, gradually got a little better as he was finally working fulltime with a good job, but money was still very much a struggle.

After 12 years of marriage, we had 4 children and continued with the day to day money struggles, when one day out of the blue my DH was offered a job overseas….All of the sudden a truckload of money was dumped in our lap to go, most of our housing was paid for, and for the next 2 years the company flew us ALL back and forth around the world, had us seated in “Business Class” which is basically the same as “First Class”. Each of the kids had their own TV on the planes we flew to various places, we were fed like Royalty while we flew….we had the money to buy the kids that video game system they wanted….it was exciting and fun, (had a it’s own set of trials but that’s a different story)…..and then….the two year adventure came to an end…

We came back to regular life and the regular job with no more Free ‘First Class type’ airplane trips. From all of the miles we had flown, we accumulated a lot of frequent flier miles. After having been back in the states for a few months, we decided to use our frequent flier miles for plane tickets to fly to Utah to spend Thanksgiving with relatives.

Guess what happened???? You’re not going to believe this??!!! This time we were back to flying in regular “Coach Class”. When we got on the plane and started walking back into our coach class seats, my 10 year old very loudly exclaimed in a very SNOBBY way, in front of all of the other passengers, “WHAT??!!! WE ARE SITTING IN COACH CLASS???!!!!!I AM NOT SITTING HERE!!!!!!”

I was absolutely stunned, floored and shocked. How in the world from where we had come from in our humble beginnings, could we have a child that is acting snobby???? It was a real rude and humbling awakening to me and my husband. Having money, was NOT a blessing for our children.

To be taken out of that “wealthy” lifestyle was truly the blessing. It is so easy to say that I will stay humble and only use money for righteous purposes when I don’t have money. I know, because I said it many times when I didn’t have money. But then when you have money, and your children are pleading for a specific expensive toy for their birthday, do you buy them the toy?? They really really want it. The toy isn’t evil. It’s a cool educational toy….It’s much easier to justify to yourself, yes they “need” that toy…it’s educational…..it’d be good for them…..however a couple of years before, I would not have even considered buying it for them…..as it was way too expensive.

I’m not saying we are wrong to buy our kids nice things-----the point I’m trying to make is that it truly is MUCH harder (but not impossible) to stay humble and focused on spiritual and righteous things, and especially much more difficult for OUR CHILDREN to stay humble and focused on spiritual things, when we are well off enough to be able to buy them many of the things that they would like---again they are not evil things----those designer clothes or the special toys that they want----but these material things very easily can get our focus off the Lord. Desires to seek and buy more and more material things very easily kicks in when we have money, sometimes so gradually that we don’t realize it is happening. It is so much easier to justify it------well it’s their birthday----it’s okay if I get them these things on their list-----

That airplane experience was a REAL EYE OPENER for us!! And my husband and I decided that it was time to be much more careful and prayerful as to how to raise our kids and how to spend our money.

All I can say is, be careful what you wish for. Be careful what you pray for. Be careful what your desires and dreams are. They actually often will come true. And in regards to the material dreams that we have….they very often are not all what they are cracked up to be.

It is difficult to stay focused on following the counsel to: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God”. It is so easy to get sidetracked and distracted as our wants and worldly desires so often kick in. It’s an ongoing daily battle to keep this first in our hearts and mind. But I know that it is well worth the effort to keep striving to attain this….seeking first the kingdom of God.

I woke up this morning reminded of this scripture in D&C121:

….Behold, there are many called, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen?
Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men, that they do not learn this one lesson--
That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness.

Setting our hearts on things of the world and aspiring for honors of men----are things so EASY to slip into. I have to pray constantly to keep my focus in the right direction, and I have to keep praying to get myself focused back in the right direction whenever I veer off course.

One last thought that my Dad once said to me--- He said “When is enough---enough? When is your house Big enough? Human nature is to always want more. The person in a two bedroom home sees their friend in a three bedroom home and soon starts wanting the three bedroom home. My neighbor buys a new camper, I start thinking about how nice it would be to have a camper…..I see my neighbor buy a flat screen TV and soon I’m thinking about how nice and cool a flatscreen TV would be, hmm afterall it does take up less space….the person in the $500,000 home visits their friend in the Million dollar home, and finds themselves thinking how fun it would be to have the Million dollar home and begins to WANT the Million dollar home……When will we be satisfied with what we have? When will we be content with our families and our life? When will we have enough, when do we stop wanting more? When is 'enough' enough???"