Culture vs Pop Culture

[Big_Sissy]

I went to a parent meeting where this was the topic of conversation too. The speaker suggested that we really need to cut down on the distractions that take kids away from the nutritional parts of their development...like literature and music. We don't have an xbox or anything like that, but I thought, I really could have the kids watch less TV. I also want to expand my children's library, which is only one shelf of our numerous bookcases. And I've started listening to 89.1 when it's not depressing (which it can be with some selections of music). Another thing that was brought up in our meeting was the culture vs. pop culture thing. This speaker said that "pop culture" is created in New York and LA. It is the view that outsiders have of America. And so they are amazed when we elect a conservative president because there is a whole lot of middle America that doesn't go along with "pop culture". She suggested that we really need to evaluate the usefulness and learning opportunities of "pop culture" and consider how to better put "culture" into our children's life. It was really a food for thought meeting.

I wanted to start this thread with a quote from our very own Erudite. She posted this on one of the member blogs, and it really hit me for some reason. Maybe it's due to having the belief and actually fighting against the "machine" I like to call it, which is Television and in General the pictures painted by the many many news outlets.

I believe that my feelings on this matter come from a complete disgust for the types of things broadcast over the air waves. As most of you know, for the most part Children can't even watch television. If it's not the program its self, it very well could be the commercials that ruin it. Everything is so much bigger, better, worse, etc then it really is in real life. I do not appreciate or like the examples set and the lessons learned from it. I certainly want to shield my children from it, though I know at some point they will be exposed.

So what are we doing to further our "Actual Culture?"

We are behind the 8 ball as we don't have the means or the methods to spew our opinions as say Hollywood or a large news outlet does (cnn, cbs, nbc, etc).

Let me digress for a moment...

I read an article on the Internet not long ago about "Net Neutrality" which is basically a law that large TelCo's want to defeat. The TelCo's propose that anyone or any information crossing their wire (basically their Internet connection) should pay some sort of "toll" if you will to do so. Specifically, they are targeting Google since they feel google benefits greatly due to being able to use their Internet infrastructure for free. "Net Neutrality" is specifically against that. The idea behind it is that they want the Internet to remain the "free" "open" place that it currently is. Where everyone is allowed to express and share their views freely and openly, like we do here.

So if the Telco's win, what would happen is that unless the information came from a source that "paid" their bill you might not be able to access that information, if that makes sense.

Ok, so to my point, (needed to set some back ground information first though, as I'm sure most of you haven't even heard of "Net Neutrality") the article stated that the Internet is the only means of mass communication that isn't controlled by a few large corporations.

Although the Internet is far from filth free, it's the most level playing field we as "Majority Culture" have to share thought, information, etc with a large audience.

So anyway, does this concern you?

Do you ever have conversations with your children about what they might have heard from a media source (say the ones the broadcast at school), or even from their teacher?

Do you ever take the opportunity to set those things taught and learned "straight" if you will?

I know one of the problems I had as a youth was to hear something and automatically believe it was true because it was on the 6 o'clock news. I had no idea that those opinions were just that, opinions. What you as a person or member of a larger family believe and hold to be true, might be exactly contrary to what some media outlets would have our children believe.

So as a responsible parent, what can we do to ensure that our children are able to sift through the non-sense and form correct opinions based off reality?

[PhillyGirl]

I think that it is getting harder and harder to filter what are children hear and see; especially outside the home. My child is still young that this is not on my daily concern list; but I do think about what I am going to do when they are older.
I believe that my responsibility is to teach my children as much as I can about the world and the gospel while they are young. I have to build such a relationship that they would feel comfortable coming to talk to me with anything that might contradict my earlier teachings. I want to build a level of trust that they can feel that they can say anything or ask anything. I feel that it is also very important to be there at the crossroads or our child's life (before school, after school etc.). This is when they are most likely going to bring up stuff that happened during the day and you can be there to answer their questions and continue teaching them.
If we do not do the teaching someone else will.

[Erudite]

Our meeting did talk about the fact that we, as parents are in control of what is being taught to our children, (we attend a charter school) and that we need to take better control of what is taught outside school too. We wouldn't feed our kids' bodies a diet of french fries and ho-hos...why would we do that to their minds?

I think the simple answer to ensuring our children can and do "sift" is to talk to them. There is a thread started on this forum about dating our children. We used to be good about doing this, though we've gotten out of the habit recently. On one of my past dates with my then 7-year-old, we got talking about aliens. My daughter thought they were real. Afterall, you see them on TV all the time. I had to let her know that they are not real; they are part of someone's imagination. Her obvious question was" "Well why do you watch shows that have them then?" So we had a talk about our imaginations and how telling a story can be a learning experience and so on. The point is that by talking with her, I was able to understand that she had an incorrect idea in her head and I was able to correct it and even help her understand a larger picture.

PG is right about being there at the crossroads. I love that I pick-up our carpool each afternoon, because I do hear all about their day and I get to teach them things in the process too. This last week, we learned all about the snowpack and why this weather (though we love it) isn't actually good for us in the long run. They were a little dismayed that I wanted to pray for more snow.

As for the forming correct opinions, they need a foundation from which to do that. There is a gospel foundation that we provide in family scripture study and prayer and FHE, but there is more that we can provide in giving them good literature where the characters do good things for good reasons, good TV shows that we actually watch with them, good music that excites the imagination and lifts their spirits. I liked the idea of taking away the distractions and putting other things in their place. Too often, I get sick of the TV and tell them to turn it off without redirecting them to something positive (ok, I do say "go read a book" but I say it like its a punishment because it's on the same list as "go clean the toilet if you're bored"....gotta quit that!)

Anyway, I really appreciate the thinking that has gone on about this topic. I have thought so many times that I need to do a better job of reading to my kids and listening to good music. I try hard, but there is more that I can do that will bless me and my children in the process.

One more thought related to this...if you have not read the book Cultural Literacy by E.D. Hirsch, I highly recommend it. It is a book that discusses the knowledge base that we should all have in order to converse. Educated people have a certain knowledge base is the premise. But if you wanted a good idea of "culture", it can in part be understood from the list that that book provides.

[5ft Diva]

I so appreciate all of your thoughts on this. I know that sometimes I feel I am an army of one who feels my children are being bombarded with distored facts and that it is up to me to correct them. It sets my mind at ease to know that I am not alone in my concerns and that I have people I can turn to that have the same concerns that will help me see things as they really are - for I too, like my kids, have a distorted view at times of what's really happening based on my fear. I particularly love that BS started this thread!!!

I remember my dad used to watch the news all the time while I was growing up (still does) and I remember always seeing war images on the t.v.. The images were always gray, chaotic, and hostile; I actually thought that was the kind of world I was growing up in. Even though there is some of that going on in parts of the world today there are so many other wonderful experiences waiting for us and our children. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say other than this is my experience.

I see it needful to expose my children to the joyful things in life. The things that would edify them, expand their horizons, help them realize they can do anything and be anything if they'll work at it. I believe the concern I have as a mother is that the images and opinions that are sent to my children via the media of any sort is that it puts this imaginary box around them and they start to believe that their world is created for them and that they have no control over anything when in all actuality, our world is what we make of it. A man named Victor Frankl comes to mind.

[Erudite]

I had another thought related to all this from my VTee sister again. She was telling me that her family runs. That's just part of what her family does. They all run marathons and they invite each other to run with each other and so on. It's part of their family CULTURE. My response was, "hmmm, my family gets together and eats." Given 24 hours to think about it, I realize that my family culture does include good music too and playing games and lively conversation, so it's not all about food...

But in this thread, it the culture aspect that I want to point out. We can create any kind of family culture we want. That culture should include those things that we know to be important, but also have to include those things that we LIKE and want to have as part of our lives. For example, after hearing Elder Callister's talk the first time, I tried to listen to opera. While I appreciate the tremendous ability of those voices and the amazing stories that some of them portray...opera is just not something that I would consider to be so important I would make it part of our family culture, because I don't really like it. But beautiful classical music is and I can squeeze that in in many ways.

An athletic culture, where the family runs together and whatnot, is completely new to me, since I didn't grow up in that kind of a family. But I see how adding it first for me, then for my kids is important. We all want kids who are athletically adept, if only so they don't get teased, but more important so they have the health and the know-how to keep that health over their lifetime. In the the March Ensign, toward the back, is an article about teaching our children these things in preparation for missionary service, btw.

But one thing I think is important is the whole balance issue. We shouldn't suddenly become all athletics or all music or all books. It is a little bit each day that adds variety to life. That we make it a priority (and fun) is what helps our children to learn from our actions and they will join us to be part of what we are doing, if we invite them (possibly over and over).

[5ft Diva]

Well, and on a more simple level. It's simply exposing them to all sorts of different things so that when they are older they can decide for themselves what they like and what they don't like to do - if you know what I mean.

[Big_Sissy]

Wow, I did not know this topic would generate much interest.

Thanks to all of you for your deep thoughts on this topic. I really appreciate them and have learned from them.

I really like the idea of the "family" culture. That rings true to my heart. It's something I'm going to try harder to define and implement, while I walk side by side with the love of my life.

[5ft Diva]

Sounds like a great idea. When you're ready, set aside about a 1/2 hour and come find me and we'll talk about this topic. I believe it deserves our attention; imagine what our "family culture" will be like if we're both working on it together - side by side - as you say. It's pretty extraordinary when you stop and think about it.

[teeny]

Everyone has great ideas! This is also something that I have worried about, and like others my kids are still pretty young so it also doesn't dominate my thoughts but I'm sure that as soon as my daughter starts school (next fall) I will definitely be thinking more about it.
Still though, I have thought a lot about this. I believe that it is very important for me to take responsibility of the teaching of my own children. I think that it would be really easy for me and everybody really, to just send off our kids to school, and church, and any other extracurricular thing and unconciously just think "Good, they're being taught what they need to know" and then supplementing what we think they're learning there with family time, family scripture study, family home evening etc. The flaw in this is that we really don't know for sure what they are learning while they're not with us. I think that it's really important to be as involved as possible in what they're doing, where they're going, who's teaching them etc. Ideas could be finding out about the choice of teachers at the start of the year and making requests as to which one you want your child to have, popping in on their class (as a room mother etc.), talking to their primary teacher about what they're learning, etc. and all of these obviously need to be done in a way that doesn't make it look like you're not trusting the teacher, and can be done in a nice and respectful way.
Anyway, these were just my thoughts.

[5ft Diva]

These are good thoughts, too. Thanks for sharing. I think one of the hardest parts for me to send my child out into the world is not knowing or maybe not being able to control everything that is entering their mind. That's why it is so important to shape and mold their little minds when they're at home.

[teeny]

Yeah, I definitely agree, and didn't mean to make it sound like I didn't think it was important to mold their minds at home as well. Both are important.

[5ft Diva]

Oh, no. I didn't take it that way. Your comment just made me realize the importance of it.