Finding Balance

[5ft Diva]

I find that I'm saying to everyone all the time, "I'm busy". I'd like that to change. In the meantime, please, forgive me for always being so busy! I will find a way to balance all things important (to me).

How do you find a way to balance all things important to you? And I'm talking about the things that are really important - not all the things you would like to do.

[natickgirl]

Wish I had some advice for you, but I struggle with this, too.

[Dia Minha]

For me, I just have to make sure I get those things that are most important done first thing in the day. If I put it off at all, it just doesn't get done. It goes back to putting first things, first.

I do need to be better at making a plan for the day. If I had a list of easy tasks to do in the afternoon, then I might get it accomplished even if I am too tired to think about it. That was one of the things we learned while doing that group a couple of years ago and I need to get back to it. In fact, I have been thinking I need to do the 12 weeks again and work on a lot of things.

[Erudite]

I had a small epiphany about this this week. I'd made my schedule for each day of the week, but only posted it on Monday in my outlook calendar. Thus the rest of the days were LOOKED free and I was treating them that way and scheduling all over the place. I realized that I needed to block out the time I need to do the most important stuff on my schedule and not let others schedule in that time when it can be avoided. My two things that weren't getting done when I scheduled them (and thus not getting done to my satisfaction because they were being squeezed around other stuff) are my scripture study and my paying job. (I have a volunteer job which is more fun so I found myself doing it more often than the paying job...not a good habit if I want to get paid!) Anyway, I've started telling people that I'm not available during the day until noon and I do exercise, shower, dress, scriptures, work...all before noon. It's working much better for getting those items done.

I did have to tell my VT that I was only available on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 12-2:30pm, but I don't feel bad about that. If they can't come on my schedule, if I have to squeeze them in somewhere they don't fit...it isn't good for me and they're coming for me...is my thinking.

I'm feeling balanced if I can do MY stuff during the day while my kids are at school and kid related stuff afterschool. That makes me personally satisfied as well as a good(ish) Mom.

[5ft Diva]

Oh, E, I've thought about doing this so many times, but it is so much easier to say than to do. Makes me wish I'd started this so many years ago. Thanks for sharing!

[Meticulous madness]

I think it's a GREAT idea to block out a chunk of time and to not be available until your own necessary things are done. Very smart prioritizing.

I also REALLY liked your theory, ER, on letting the visiting teachers come when the timing works best for you. I've never thought about it that way, but it makes so much sense. And for other things as well.

It reminds me of our recent 5th Sunday, joint RS/Priesthood lesson message from the Bishop. The lesson was more about the Priesthood and its role in the family, but one of the opening statements centered around the fact that our church was set up and organized FOR us as individuals and FOR the family (and not really the other way around). Obviously, in order for the organized programs to work, we NEED people to serve and sacrifice and give of their time and talents, but not to the detriment of individuals or families. And in perfect balance with our giving and serving, we need to be taught and served and lifted and rejuvenated, etc. (This is what I took out of the lesson and not the actual quoting of what was shared). Basically, when we aren't getting out of it what we are supposed to be getting out of it, there may be a problem with our focus and whatnot. Man, I am horrible at relating what I feel and learn...but I hope the point comes across.

Again, I've never really looked at it that way but it just makes sense.

Anyway, perspective and priorities...

[5ft Diva]

That is an awesome perspective! Thank you for sharing your thoughts as that isn't the same message that was relayed to me and it's exactly what I needed to hear!

I've recently had an experience where I was prompted by the Spirit to not take on anything extra and to take the next couple of months to work diligently at getting some areas of my life in order. I only listened for a couple of weeks. Then one day I thought I could help someone out (because I buckled under pressure) and even though it wasn't a terrible experience, the Spirit gently reminded me that it is for my own good that obedience is required to the promptings I am given.

Right now there is a part of my life that needs immediate attention to maintain balance in the future. Sometimes it is difficult to accept that I can't be everything to everybody, but the truth is I can't - nor can anybody else. I guess what I've learned is that the next time I'm asked to do something I know I can't do I need to offer a prayer in the individual's behalf who's asking something of me and pray that they will be able to receive the help they need and go on. Alma 24:4 is my favorite scripture and I think it applies perfectly here. Most of us have the desire, but will not always have the resources. What matters in those cases is that we have the desire to help and are working towards being in a position to help.

Okay, total processing moment - sorry to be long-winded.

[Erudite]

I love your thoughts MM and 5D! I'm doing better at balancing now that I've begun really taking the time that I scheduled to do specific things, though I still have a lot of work to do to get all the way there. And...making my schedule match what I think my priorities have to be made me realize (or rather be prompted that) I'm honestly doing way more than I should be in areas that I shouldn't be and not doing other things that I could be in areas that I ought to be in. Hope that made sense. I guess, for me, it just comes down to really paying attention to the promptings from God and then adjusting life accordingly. It's the adjustment that sometimes goes awry...not the promptings, but if we keep at it, we'll get there!

[natickgirl]

Great thoughts, ladies! Thanks for sharing & "processing". My new job has really opened my eyes to the fact that I have to MAKE time & make it a priority to do things I say are important to me (scripture reading, exercise, even household organization) or they just simply won't get done. Life always gets in the way if we don't take charge.

[Erudite]

Wasn't President Uchtdorf's talk Saturday morning SO awesome on this topic? I know I learned a lot and I'm now struggling to figure out what to cut out so that I can slow down and get more from what I am doing.

What did his talk make you all think about?

[5ft Diva]

At the moment his talk is a bit fuzzy. I'll have to review it and then let you know.

[Erudite]

So I dissected Pres. Uchtdorf's talk a couple of weeks ago and then I compared my "to do" list against his priorities. I found one SMALL way to cut back on a thing that didn't fit into any of the priorities he laid out. It was a SMALL thing, but I feel really blessed for having given it up. Just sharing!

[5ft Diva]

I finally listened to it again last week. The thing that has kept coming back to me over and over is to slow down when there is turbulence. Such a great principle and one I need to be reminded of on a continual basis. Thanks for bringing up his talk from General Conference. It helped a lot. I find myself wondering why I think I need to blast through my trials when in fact the best thing (for everybody involved) would be for me to slow down and work slowly through it. Time to rewrite what's on my belief window! Thanks again everybody for your thoughts. It really does take a village to raise a child - even when that child is all grown up!