People from Our Past

[5ft Diva]

I've decided why I like reconnecting w/ people from my childhood. I used to think it was due to closure (whatever that means) but now I realize that reconnecting to people from my past is exactly like a child who stands up against a measuring stick to see how much they've grown. People from our past seem to take us back to where ever we were when we knew them and it is a moment to evaluate where we're at now. We get to see how much we've grown and matured. We get to see how different we are or how many things we've kept the same about ourselves. We get to see how they've grown. We get to reflect on how the world has changed. Yeah, it's just a big giant measuring stick.

Anyway, just some random thoughts.

[bookworm]

That's a great sentiment!

I have major anxiety about my past, I've realized lately. My family had an ice skating party at the Cottonwood Heights rec center the week before Christmas. I hadn't been there since I was my DS#2's age, and just driving into that neighborhood made my stomach flip-flop and my heart race. I went to the jr. high right next door to the rec center and spent many a gym class in the dressing rooms at the pool of the rec center, hiding out because I would rather have DIED than changed into swimwear with those girls who were so horrible to me during the worst years of my life. Anyway... some of you know my story, some don't. This isn't necessarily the place to share it, but when I was in 7th grade my mom left my dad-- my mom is nuts and was abusive, and driving into that neighborhood sent me into a minor anxiety attack. I was under control, though, and we went and it was fine. I survived and maybe conquered a little of the fear that some of those memories bring back.

On a lighter note, though, I would LOVE to see some of my old High School friends. I have NG and one other HS friend that I'm still in touch with, although NG is the only one I've actually seen in the last 10 years. I wonder what they're all doing, etc. Especially the guys-- I had more friends that were boys than girls in HS, but naturally we've lost touch. We're coming up on our 20 (!!) year reunion in 2010... maybe then I'll see some of them... I gotta get skinny...

When I started college at Ricks, we were assigned a FHE family group with another apartment of girls and an apartment of boys in our ward, and in the boy group was a young man I had gone to second and third grade with. I didn't remember much about him, except that he was the only boy in third grade with facial hair (he is from India and had a thick mustache in college). That was a strange connection. He remembered me with straight hair and as being VERY shy, which was exactly right in elementary school. In college, though, my natural curl had arrived and settled in, and I was no longer shy at all. It was fun to reconnect.

I haven't ever thought about it as a way to measure where I am. I'll have to think about that if I ever see anyone besides NG again... NG and I just keep moving forward, so I can't really measure anything but how far I've come since last summer

Hope I didn't hijack this thread... sometimes I type in babble

[natickgirl]

I am a very curious person, which is why I like to read so much (I can "snoop" into the character's lives). I like to reconnect with people I haven't seen for a long time, just to see where their lives have led them. (I'm sure they don't always want to reconnect with me, though.) I don't use reconnecting as a way to guage myself, because I am already all-to-aware of where I am in life right now. But, I do hope others can see I have matured somewhat since they last saw me.

I am very selective about who I consider a friend worth maintaining contact with. Even in high school, I had many "buddies" but few real "friends." So, while there are a lot of people I sometimes think "I wonder what happened to him/her," I wouldn't actually want to encourage a regular relationship with them...I'm just curious.

[5ft Diva]

I didn't feel like you hijacked this thread at all, BW. I, too, was just rambling along. I just have recently come into contact w/ some old friends and talking to them has taken me back to where I was when I first knew them, thus, in a sense forcing me to evaluate myself throughout the years. I find myself quietly asking things like "What kinds of choices have I made to bring me to this point?" You know what I mean? I'm just kind of quirky like that, though.

Good for you, BW, to get through that situation. I think it's hard to revisit places that hold hurtful memories. You're awesome!