Becoming

[Erudite]

We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day.
--Richard G. Scott

I have this quote on a post it on my computer monitor. Today I was thinking about what it says and thought...What I want to be is HEALTHY. I've been sick a lot lately and today I'm attempting to rectify that by doing better at the whole eating right and exercising thing TODAY. And I know I'll have to do that tomorrow and the next day too.

What do you think? What do you want to become? What will you change in your life to become what you want to become?

If Elder Scott's words are to be taken as truth, and I believe they are, the words amount to a promise...if we do X, we will be X. Does it change your approach to what you want to be and how to be it?

[Dia Minha]

I'm thinking about this, but can't find any words to express what I'm feeling. Just didn't want you to feel ignored. Maybe I'll find the words tomorrow.

[5ft Diva]

Oh, boy! This has been on my mind for quite some time! For beginners, I want to become the woman I haven't been lately. I have found that I am reacting to everything...and I want to be proactive. I've lost sight of my goals because I have stopped setting them and, probably even more importantly, I've stopped evaluating where I'm at.

This calendar year I was supposed to go on a trip for a week to set aside the time for me to do this because I knew it wouldn't happen otherwise and instead I allowed myself to be talked out of it...a decision I regret.

I think in order to become what I really want to become I need to take the time to figure out the price that needs to be paid...meaning asking myself what my values are and what am I willing to do to make them a priority. It's such a hopeful thought!!

[Erudite]

So...I know you did that, 5D. You've told me a lot about it, but I'd love to hear your thoughts now that you're a few weeks out on having done it. What has changed since you did it? Have you been able to stick to your "resolutions"?

[Dia Minha]

I need help becoming the person I want to be. I see her so vividly. At times, pretending I am already her helps. However, one can only "pretend" for so long. Lately I have been working really hard at trying to loose weight again. My reasons for loosing weight have changed. It is so much about the way I look, but the way I feel. My 5 year old weighs just a little more than what I want to loose. The other day I convinced her to let me pack her around for a little while. I carried her up and down the stairs and around the house for just 5 minutes and was exhausted. I couldn't believe how much faster and easier I could move, once I put her down. I imagined if I could drop that 40 pounds I carry continuely, how much faster and easier I could move. I know there is a difference, because of weight distribrution, but it really opened my eyes to one of the possible reasons I feel so tired all the time, as well as why my feet ache.

Anyway, so off topic. I have been doing some journaling and meditation and planning on how I am going to become that slim and energetic woman. I do so well in the morning. I feel great about sticking to my plan and I actually start feeling like I am already her; until about 4:00 in the afternoon and then I go right back to being the slow, lazy, tired overweight woman. Yesterday I made it all the way through dinner. Then I was so dissappointed in the new recipe I tried that I compensated by eating way too much FHE treat. If it would have stopped there, it wouldn't have been too bad, but it didn't. I continued long into the night on one of my mini-binges and went to bed feeling sick, physically and emotionally.


Anyway, Diva, please share how you are doing. We have talked about this too, but I would love to read your thoughts. Maybe hearing what you have to say, whether you felt like you are succeeding or struggling will help me continue to fight for whom I want to become.

[Erudite]

You and me both, Dia! (need help becoming...) I feel like a split personality. I am the woman I want to be sometimes--an organized, cute, confident, cooking/baking, spiritual woman/wife (add "sexy" to the list)/mom, and then other times I'm a whiney, depressed, fat, frumpy goof-off. I'm finding myself terribly embarrassed when I pull out of the second personality, because I reallze that isn't me and so little of what she feels is real. It's EASY to be the whiney, depressed, fat, frumpy goof-off (WDFFGO) and a lot of work to be the woman/wife/mom I really should be. I find myself slipping into the WDFFGO mode far too often these days and it's harder and harder to pull myself out.

I know just what you mean about morning gumption which fades in the afternoon/evening. And I know what you mean about letting it stop who you want to be. I too am trying to find the energy/willpower to fight for who I want to be. Yesterday was a tough day. By the end of the day, I catalogged to my DH what I'd done for the day (after sleeping until noon because of being sick). It was "made bread, got dressed, put on make-up, attended a meeting with the Bishop, and picked up the kids on time". That's it. BUT that's something for being sick, right? That's what I keep telling myself.

Today I'm off to a better start. I'm dressed like the woman/wife/mom I want to be. I've exercised already too. It should be a good day!

[5ft Diva]

So...I know you did that, 5D. You've told me a lot about it, but I'd love to hear your thoughts now that you're a few weeks out on having done it. What has changed since you did it? Have you been able to stick to your "resolutions"?

A few weeks into this I'm finding that I am learning to be more flexible, patient, and forgiving of myself and I believe that's because I took time to figure out how to be my best self right now (not overall) and how I'd like to continue bettering myself. Seeing the big picture helps me realize that, yes, I make mistakes, and if I'll just adjust one tiny thing it can make all the difference. Which brings me to something else I've learned. I don't need to go full speed ahead which is what I have done in the past. I find that it's much less stressful if I just ease into something bit by bit. This approach lends the perspective needed to make the best decision with what I'm given at the time. These last few weeks have taught me that all of us are doing better than we think we are and that we need to stop beating ourselves up emotionally.

I feel that I'm what has changed.

Have I been able to stick to my resolutions? Yes and No. If I lived up in the mountains away from everyone all of the time I would be able to focus on me all of the time. Since that isn't the case and I have commitments to others (i.e. family, church, community) I decided it would be in my best interest to shelf what would keep for the time being and focus on just a couple of things. The things that I have been able to work on are coming along slower than expected, but with everything on my plate right now, I'm feeling great about what I've been able to accomplish up to this point.

It's not like I'm totally transformed....far from it. I think I'm just finally enjoying the journey because I've had a say in it.

Hope this makes sense.