Combatting the Negative

[Mamallama]

There is a certain individual I know that seems only to complain. I am not kidding----this person---according to them----hates Relief Society, hates Primary, hates Sunday School, and hates Sacrament Meeting----BECAUSE according to them they are all “BORING”! According to this person, everyone does a terrible job in their calling. I have NEVER heard this person say what a good job anyone has ever done.

With all of this complaining you’d think there would be a suggestion or two of how to make something better----but NO----just simply it’s not being done right or how they themself “could do it better”.

I have sat in the exact same meetings with this person and come away feeling uplifted and refreshed. This person comes away with only complaints. Honestly I feel sorry for this person. The people they complain about, I happen to know are outstanding people, work very hard in fulfilling their callings, invite the spirit when they speak or fulfill whatever assignment they are fulfilling.

I have tried bending over backwards to please this person, to try and be positive around this person and I know other individuals who do the same. But the same old complaining continues on. Fighting negative with negative is wrong I know….but lately I find my thoughts wandering to negative thoughts and anger even creeping in from time to time as I think to myself “How can someone, especially someone who considers themself Christian, say so many unkind things about people…. behind their backs….and sometimes even to their faces.” I just don’t get it.

I need to sit down and pray about this more I know----but it would help me also to hear any of your thoughts on how to bring positive into situations like these, and how you might combat your own negative feelings towards someone like this so you or we don’t become like this ourself. I need to be free of negativity in order to be a truly positive influence on them...right?

[5ft Diva]

How do you bring positive into situations like these? Are you bringing positive into the situation for her or for yourself? My answer is in response to the latter.

Question: Is this person addicted to being negative? The reason I ask is because if they are then just trying to be positive will not give you the results you are looking for. If they are addicted then you will need to be straight w/ them which may be to say, "I want to have positive and fulfilling conversations when I am with you and I want you to be able to feel like you can talk to me as a friend about your concerns (or whatever it is you want for this person)."

If they are not addicted to negativity and are just going through a "phase" then I would suggest asking Heavenly Father to use his angels to shield you from anything negative and/or toxic this person has to say to you if you cannot avoid being around them. I know this works!

I have been with people who were at a level of such high toxicity or in an environment that I was not able to get out of that was so extremely toxic to me that the only thing I could do was pray. I needed to be lifted up out of my current place right then and there and I could only be lifted up out of this place by someone who was standing on higher ground. I asked Heavenly Father to protect me from these things that would harm my spirit. I found that immediately a veil was placed over me, I was not affected by words, actions, or sometimes things in the environment that were so hurtful to me, and while I was aware of what was going on around me it didn't penetrate me, if that makes any sense. The blessing of this was that I didn't feel the need to do anything either, I could just see this person as a child of God who at the moment was hurting and go on my merry way. That way I could continue on as I would in any given situation and not be affected by any external influences and then did my best to get out of there as fast as I could. This was not something I did just once, it is something I do often.

I hope the best for you and for this person.

[Big_Sissy]

Sheesh, I wouldn't know what to do... I'd just avoid them, but that's just me. I think my dearest diva has much better advise.

Good luck and I'm glad to see you online. I don't know why, but I've missed you.

[5ft Diva]

Originally Posted by Big_Sissy

I don't know why, but I've missed you.

I know why! Because ML is like the most totally awesomest person ever!

[Big_Sissy]

Ha ha, that could be it... not sure.

[Mamallama]

Thanks for your thoughts....and I've missed you too!
You two are the complete opposite of the above described....you make we want to be a better person. 5D, the other day you thanked me for doing such a great job and for all I am doing....I thought to myself..."I really haven't been doing much of anything, but if she thinks I'm doing good things...I better get out there and do something good".....Positive promotes Positive. Thanks for promoting the positive in me!

[Big_Sissy]

You know Mamallama, I think you are super hard on your self. Probably more hard than anyone else could ever be. You just don't realize how many of us (me) think the world of you. You're a wonderful person, and have a magnetic personality, despite your shyness. Maybe it's your smile, I don't know.

Anyway, you're spot on, positiveness breeds more positiveness, and unfortunately the same goes for negativity.

This reminds me of what I read in the book "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill -- Although this is about criminals, I think it applies to all facets of our lives.

The way Men sometimes become Criminals
Stated in the words of a famous criminologist

When men, first come into contact with crime they abhor it.

If they remain in contact with crime for a time they become accustomed to it and endure it.

If they remain in contact with it long enough they finally embrace it and become influenced by it.

Any thought or influence that is repeatedly passed onto the mind is finally accepted and acted upon by the sub-conscious mind which proceeds to translate that impulse into its physical equivalent by the most practical procedure available.

All thoughts that have been emotionalized, given feeling, and mixed with faith begin immediately to translate themselves into their physical equivalent or counter part.

If it is true that one may become a criminal by association with crime, and this is a known fact, it is equally true that one may develop faith by voluntarily suggesting to the subconscious mind that one has faith – the mind come finally to take on the nature of the influences which dominate it. Understand this truth and you will know why it is essential for you to encourage these positive emotions as dominating forces of your mind, and discourage and eliminate negative emotions.

[Big_Sissy]

One more... From the same book, but in my wording.

Power of positive thinking

Manure (poop), manure smells bad for a reason, if not we would ball it up and throw it at our brother or sister. Manure is bad all by its self – Isn’t manure a lot like some of the experiences we have in life? You bet it is – it stinks!! Now take that same manure and put it in some dirt. Take that dirt and cultivate it, add some seeds, and before you know it, you have a garden.

Everyone has manure – it’s a fact! What you do with it is the key.

What we do with that manure can make all the difference in the world. The same principal applies to “rotten” experiences in life. It’s all in your perspective and how you look at a situation. Sure manure all by its self is pretty rank, but take that manure and use it for good, and you have something completely different on your hands.

This life is the time to prepare to meet God. This life is the time to learn to take manure and turn it into rose gardens. Don’t curse it, cherish it and learn from it, then turn it into gold.

Resolve to throw off negative thoughts, and build your own life to order.

A Poem from the same book

If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you like to win, but you think you can’t, it is almost certain you won’t.
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost, for out of the world we find success begins with a fellows will, it’s all in the state of mind.
If you think you’re out classed you are.
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before you can ever win a prize.
Life’s battles don’t always go the stronger or faster man, but soon or late the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

[Big_Sissy]

So how this all relates, or even helps you with your dealing with your friend, I have no idea. I just felt like I should share it.

[Mamallama]

I love the quotes and poem BS. And thanks so much BS for your very very kind words!!
Wow, it's all great food for thought. The thoughts on manure are awesome------we can either sulk and cry and let the manure that is thrown at us ruin us, or as you in say in your quote----we can take it, add to it, cultivate it and turn it into a rose garden. All amazing thoughts to ponder over, thank you!!