Self Discipline

[5ft Diva]

I'm noticing that I am at a crossroads in my life. There have been some principles that apply to self discipline that I've procrastinated learning and now it's painfully obvious that my ability to learn those principles will determine if I sink or swim. I'm not sure, but I think I'm kind of scared to "change" because it might be painful or uncomfortable. Thus, the question, "What price am I willing to pay for self discipline?" came to mind. It's not just self discipline that I'm feeling this way about, it's just one of the things I'm feeling this way about.

Can anyone relate to what I am feeling?

[Dia Minha]

Uhhhmmmm, yeah. The ultimate cause of my failure to loose weight is exactly what you just describe. Sometimes you just have to come to the realization that the benefits of suffereing through the pain of change are so much more beneficial than the pain is harmful.

When deciding what was holding me back in my weight loss journey I started noticing little thoughts followed by actions that were pulling me away from my goals. I found myself thinking and pittying myself, because I couldn't eat what everyone else was. And thus, becoming bitter toward my efforts and giving in anyway. I started thinking about all the fun traditions and activities centered around food that were going to have to change and never be the same for me again, in order for me to succeed. If I let myself sink into that pitty party attended by only me then I would usually find myself feeling so sorry for myself I would eat whatever every one else was eating anyway. The times I have succeeded are the times I was able to replace the traditional food with something that gave me the same feelings in a healthier way. Like ff sf hot chocolate on a cold winter's night. Instead of decorating sugar cookies this year for Christmas we decorating foam cutouts with odds and ends craft supplies. Instead of ginger bread houses I found these craft foam houses from Oriental Trading and we built those. It was just as fun without all the calories. We started giving out single serving microwave popcorn and boxes of raisins for Halloween. So we are the most hated house on the block for that one night, but I made it through without gaining a pound.

Anyway, where the fear comes in is, it won't be the same. Some things have to change. That can be a very scary place to be. I have also established that I have a fear of succeeding. Once you reach a goal that you have been striving for, for so many years, than what? Even though it is something I desire and work hard at, I can't get over the unknown of what could happen when I get there.

And yes you just have to decide, what is worth it. To some giving up Christmas cookies, ginger bread houses and Halloween candy might not be worth the 4 lb loss or no gains over the holidays, to some it is.

Dia

[5ft Diva]

Hmmm...you make a good point. Thanks.

I can relate to what you're describing, which is why I know this is gonna hurt. Actually, when I really think about it, it doesn't hurt all that bad. It just seems bigger than it really is.....hmmm.....that's anxiety. But I can't quite put my finger on what I'm anxious about. It's not the change itself, it's putting myself through the "drills" that create a change later on that I'm a little nervous about. This explains why I struggled w/ exercise for so many years....and still do. Wow, this has been enlightening. I know I still haven't quite put my finger on the real issue though. I think I'll know it when I hear it. For now, heading in the right direction will have to do.

Now what?

[Big_Sissy]

I don't know, but this has been a great conversation.

The only thing that comes to mind for me is Tapping (EFT) whatever the fear is, so you can be done with it and move forward.

[5ft Diva]

Yeah, that's the thing that keeps coming to my mind - that I won't move forward until I clear this issue. I think I'm a little nervous to tap into a core issue. It was huge for me the last time I did. I think it's that it's unpredictable. I don't know what's going to happen, oh, it's control. I'm afraid I'm going to lose the control that I have in my life if I get rid of these issues. I feel I can control these issues and in controlling them I am in control. How dumb does that sound? I know I've done this before but I need a pep talk. Can someone explain to me what it feels like to let go of control in order to experience freedom? Once again, my perspective is out of whack. Does that make sense?

[Big_Sissy]

Yes it does. As a matter of fact those that don't want to lose control of something in all actuality are not in control of that which they fear they will lose control of.

So yes, you make perfect sense.

[5ft Diva]

Woah, hold on here. You're only aloud one profound thought in a day! My mind can't handle anymore than that.

[Big_Sissy]

Ha, just what I've learned from those brilliant people I rub shoulders with.