Budgeting ?s for Dia

[Dia Minha]

You welcome Erudite. And thank you. Your words are just what I needed to hear.

Dia

[Dia Minha]

Originally Posted by 5ft Diva

This thread has been great even though I've only gotten through about 2/3 of it. I'll have to come back and finish it later. I've learned a lot already. (Dia, after reading all of this I'm even more excited to start our "group therapy" tonight.)

Anyway, what I wanted to most comment on was that I love that you and your husband have sat down and made these goals together, Dia. You have come up w/ this plan together - it isn't just all you or all him, so it compliments your marriage. This is synergy at its best! It's been fun for me to read this. I'm quirky, I know. I just like seeing stuff like this happen between people. Like I said on another thread - I'm totally a Steven Covey fan!!!

Huh oh, I might have set you up for a dissappointment. I seem to be very clever when it comes to writing things out on the computer and I have to admit I feel like I have a talent in this type of communications, however, I also understand I am not very clever when it comes to public speaking, and if you haven't already noticed, by all of our recent phone conversations, I get side tracked easily when it is not written down. So, beware, you will be dealing with a completely different person at "group therapy" tonight. However, I'm excited too.

I'm thankful to you for pointing out how well DH and I work together. Sometimes, things like this see to come so easy, I'm sure I take it for granted. Of course, I'm sharing with you how it works, but what you don't know is how long it has taken me to convence my DH that we needed to try something different, now those were a rough couple of months. So ladies and gentlemen, be patient with your spouses, if it is meant to be, they will eventually see it and you'll make it work, if it is important to you. Actually we both have had to be very patient. Because there were times, DH wanted to just hand it all over to me, but I wouldn't take it.

Dia

[5ft Diva]

Good points to ponder, Dia. Thanks again!

[Erudite]

Ah yes. Convincing the spouses to change. I'm notorious for getting excited over something and planning it all out in my head AND THEN telling my DH about it...plan and all. He's so calm about the whole thing and knows that with many things, it'll just blow over if he goes along for the short term. Too often, he's right.

However, I've had TWO experiences in the last week, that showed me that my gentle prodding A) was working and B) possibly needed to be a smidge more forceful. It makes me wonder if I'm right about a couple of other things I'm gently trying to help him with...should I push the point just a bit more for his own good? The question of the ages, huh? The two things, which I won't go into for personal reasons, are very much for his own good and would have benefited him a lot if he had started them 6 months (or more) ago when I first started bringing up the possibilities. I let him be in charge of himself, but even he admits that he'd wished he'd listened back then.

So on this one...I'm in charge of the books, so it shouldn't be him doing too much changing, but he will have to go along with my initial excitement and planning already done. Sigh...I actually thought of this a couple of hours ago...that I needed to not overwhelm him the second he walked in the door, that's why I'm waiting for the "date" tomorrow. It gives him a chance to digest the article and think about it a bit. But don't take bets on me being able to contain myself...it's not something I'm good at.

Well, he just read this over my shoulder. Now I'll have to tell him, huh?

[5ft Diva]

Looks like he had all the warning he'll need. Good luck w/ this, E. Coming up w/ financial goals and plans w/ my spouse is a longtime dream of mine. It's fun to see you gals doing it.

[runamyrun]

This has been a fun thread to read. Dia, you shouldn't worry about posting something on this forum. That is easy for me to say, sometimes I feel the same way. I agree that there are definitely different ways to budget, and each one works for different people. I would love to do a budget like this. It fits my personality. I really like to sit down and plan, and I love to save money. I think your plan sounds really awesome! Our financial situation is weird, so we do something else. My husband is self-employed and our income really fluctuates. Some months it is awesome and some months it isn't enough to cover all of the monthly expenses. Also, some months the business expenses are little and some months they are huge. And they aren't usually things you can foresee. Plus, some years our son has a surgery or two and we don't always have a lot of notice to prepare (and the costs really vary). So, we live within our means (I know I could cut back a little but not a lot) and the months we do really well with income, I put all of the extra in savings. So the months that we don't earn enough, we have money set aside and it doesn't hurt us. Also, that money is used for surgeries, babies being born, surprise car repairs, etc. As long as it hasn't been a hugely expensive year (like the year our daughter was rushed to Primary Children's hospital and our son had three surgeries all in four months!), we actually build a little bit of savings. I feel like for the most part I do a decent job with our finances, but sometimes I wish our income and expenses didn't vary so much. It really makes things difficult. One thing I do need to work on, though, is long term savings. We do have some stocks, but most of our money is in a money market account. I would like to learn more about long term savings, so I would know what to do with it!

[Dia Minha]

Amy it sounds like your doing more than decent. It sounds like you are doing amazingly well. I wouldn't even know where to begin with a fluctuating income.

I know I could cut back a little too. I'm taking babysteps. I'm hoping that as I get more comfortable with this weekly allowance that I can start cutting it back. I know there are a lot of people who live very well on less. I've made it to a game of sorts. I love getting down to the end of the week and seeing that plus sign at the bottom, even when there is less than a dollar after it.

Dia

[runamyrun]

Thanks for being nice. I was afraid that someone would think I wasn't doing enough and start suggesting how I should be doing it differently. I was feeling sensitive about that because our finances are already so complicated!

I go back and forth about whether I really want to cut back on little things or not. I tend to be tight with our money (I don't really like spending it!), but there are a few things that I buy for convenience.

One problem that I have had is that I am always saving money for something in the future. I don't always have an idea or goal of what that is exactly. DH and I have decided that we need to enjoy life as we go, instead of just looking to the future. One of DH's business books suggested spending a certain percentage of your income each month on fun things. We decided to try half of that percentage, and it seemed hard! I decided that each year I want to do something fun with my family, whether it is going on a trip or going to Lagoon. Sometimes I feel guilty about spending money on things like that, but it has helped that we have given ourselves permission to do it. Isn't it funny that we can be on one extreme or the other! Oh, I do other things with my family that don't cost anything, but sometimes it is fun to do something different!

[Dia Minha]

Oh I hear you there. Sometimes I get really frustrated with DH ambitions to pay the house off so soon. It is only a couple hundred dollars extra a month to knock off 15 years, which in return saves 150,000 dollars, but sometimes it would be really nice to have the money to do something fun or finish the basement so we can actually enjoy living in the house we are paying for. I did finally convince him that refinancing would give us both what we want. Him a paid for house in ten years, and me a house I can enjoy living in. Now, if those interest rates would just drop again, we would be set.

[Erudite]

Hey, Amy...as an organizer by nature, I read your thoughts and thought, well, that's just how I would do it too! But then, as I've said, I haven't felt all that great about the job we've been doing in budgeting, so we're revising. We were supposed to have our date last night to do it, but I ended up too sick, so we'll do it tonight hopefully. I do have my DH all talked into it (and he hasn't even read the article or this thread as yet), since it makes so much sense. We just need to work out the details for us. I'm excited! Thanks again, Dia!

[Dia Minha]

Your very welcome, Erudite. It is a mafor esteem booster to know I was of some help. Yet, even more important to me, it is comforting to know I am not alone.

Dia

[Erudite]

Reporting back.

We had our "date" and figured out what we think will work for us. We decided not to deal with all the stuff that comes out of the check before we ever see the money. And we took the mortgage payment and the tithing out of the equation too. With what's left, we set our goals (we're working toward the 60/40 too...can't do it yet) and then we divided it by 5 for the weeks. Now, I just have a single sum to worry about not spending or spending wisely.

Last night I pulled out my planner and told my DH what money I'd spent for the day. He pulled up quicken and we plugged in the money into the weeks. We counted week 1 as February 1 & 2. That helped us because we had an unexpected expense that wasn't going to fit into this week (our week 2). So! We're off and rolling.

Again, thanks so much for this new way of thinking about this! I really think it'll help us stay in our budget and result in a lot more savings for us over time and that's the real goal.

[5ft Diva]

Way to go E!

[Dia Minha]

Yeah Erudite! This is so exciting. What I find more exciting then the fact that I helped you get there, is the fact that you took what information I had and made it work for you.

Dia