Time for me

[5ft Diva]

I'm posting this here because this concept feeds my spirit.

I'm wanting to know:

(1) How you put yourself first?
(2) When you put yourself first?
(3) What do you do to put yourself first?

My body is crying out for me to do this so I need a little advice. I feel like I'm being selfish taking care of myself before anyone else but I also understand why it needs to be that way so......how do I find a balance?

[Big_Sissy]

Note to self... Help make this happen.

[5ft Diva]

I would love that!

[LostnFound]

I have the same thoughts as you do 5' Diva. It is so hard to find time for yourself or do something for yourself without feeling guilty about it. I have yet to find this possible. I would love any suggestions.

[Big_Sissy]

Yeah, me too. I'll try and help so you can have some free time.

[amberpatomo]

Your a great guy BS!

I know that I am going through the same thing right now. I could talk about this for hours! Maybe next visit?

At times I feel pulled from one direction to another. When I have a "free" moment I try not to think about all the other responsibilites I have. Though it is not easy for me. I am still learning.

I love my husband dearly because he is a great support for me. When I need time away the best thing he can say is "take your time". I often feel guilty for being gone so I even repeat these words to myself. It helps to just savor the moment.

I know that I feel a lot less guilty when my kids are in bed. I know that they don't need me and that is MY time to do whatever I need to.

[5ft Diva]

Those are great words of advice AP. I'll try to remember to say those words to myself.

How do you shut out all the other responsibilities in your life to be able to focus on you w/out feeling the guilt? That's a major paradigm shift. You just hit on something pretty big for me so I need to understand it better - walk me through this. I'm all ears!

[runamyrun]

For me, going running is one of the best things I do for myself. Thankfully my husband has the same passion I do, so he understands how important it is for me to go. I try to get the kids taken care of before I leave, so they are happy and hopefully my husband doesn't have to do too much. Other than running, I rarely go anywhere without my kids, so it is awesome for me to have time to be alone and think. I love the opportunity to get outside, and I am happy when I get home. Of course, sometimes I do feel guilty about leaving the kids, especially when my hubby is supposed to be working. But, I realize I am setting a good example for my kids, and hopefully when they are a little older they might want to run with me!

[Mamallama]

Just a couple of thoughts in regards to taking time for myself without feeling guilty:
#1. I cannot give nourishment to my children, spouse and others, if my own body and soul has not received nourishment.

#2. What does the flight attendant tell the passengers to do in case of loss of cabin air pressure?
FIRST put on your OWN oxygen mask, then put your child's mask on. You need to have oxygen in your own body in order to have the strength to put your child's mask on so that they can receive oxygen as well.

#3. Christ commanded us to "Love thy neighbor as thyself", which tells me that I must love myself first in order to have or give love to my neighbor or anyone else. I need to love myself.

Applying all three of these thoughts tells me that I cannot give my best to those around me, I cannot adequately serve those around me, and I cannot truly love those around me if I have not taken care of myself and love myself ie: Taking Time For Myself-

I don't think the Lord would want us to feel guilty for taking care of the divine beings that we are. The better spiritual, emotional and physical shape we are in, the better able we are to serve the Lord.

When my kids were really small, I decided to get up at 5:30AM and ride my bike outside for 20 minutes a day 4 days a week before my husband left for work. That 20 minutes was MY time. The kids were asleep, they didn't even know I was gone---my husband was getting ready for work so it didn't bother him. That simple 20 minutes of MY time during that couple of years that I rode everyday, did wonders for my soul, emotionally and spiritually. ***Whatever works for you and your schedule---give it a try-- ME time doesn't always have to be long chunks of time.

Sorry to ramble on and on....just thinking out loud

[5ft Diva]

You are so not rambling! I appreciated every word. Thanks for your words of wisdom!

[Erudite]

We had an interesting discussion at a Visiting Teaching appointment this week where we talked a bit about this idea in context with the assigned lesson on building a personal testimony of Christ. I loved what MamaLlama said as her number 1 and the idea that we are better able to do what we need to do when we take care of ourselves as divine beings. When we do give ourselves the nourishment (spiritual, intellectual, physical), the person I was visiting explained that our capacity to give to others grows. Not only are we able to serve others, we are BETTER able to.

That was such an interesting concept to form into words (I'll have to invite that sister to the discussion board!), because that's what I'm seeing in my own life. I've been in kindof resting mode for over a year now, and it's been lovely. 5D often encouraged me to enjoy it and I truly did. Now I'm rocked off my feet busy, and I can feel myself able to do all that needs to be done because I took time to feed ME...my capacity and ability is different than it was a year ago.

I also, in taking the time and effort to feed me, learned how very important it is and so I don't let myself drop the good habits I built, though I do have to pare down a bit in some areas in order to fit it all in. In the process, I also learned something about keeping peace around me, because when you are fed, you are peaceful.

Take time to feed YOU, and NEVER feel guilty about it. There is nothing of greater importance that you can do in your lifetime, or in your eternity, because in feeding you, you become what you are meant to become and thus are able to feed all.

[5ft Diva]

Great words of wisdom E. Thanks for sharing! The never feeling guilty part of it is tricky though, working on that. I think that's where my friends come in. I find that my friends have reminded me of what healthy priorities are. My family will one day be eternally grateful for my friends as I am for my Mother's good friends and sisters.

[teeny]

Wow, everyone has great advice! The only thing that I can think of that I think has made a huge difference for me is that from the very start of having kids I knew, and decided that my kids always needed to have a very "set in stone" bedtime so that I could have some "me" time and time alone with my hubby. I'm also not one to sleep with my babies or kids either. So far, with the two kids that I have, this has worked out very well. My kids usually go to sleep right when I want them to, and pretty much always have probably since they were about 3 months old. This is great because then, after they go to sleep, I can do what I want to do, and I don't have to feel guilty about it because.... they're asleep! They don't know the difference if I go read a book, or clean the house for hours. The point is that I can do whatever the devil I want and it's lovely! I always wonder though, if I've just been lucky to get kids that go to sleep when I want them to, or if it's the way that I've trained them. I guess I'll see what happens when I have more kids!

[5ft Diva]

It's that you've trained them to go to sleep at that time. I'm sure your kids can take credit as well. They aren't overly anxious about anything that keeps them up at night and things like that. I remember having nights like that as well.....once upon a time. It's so much easier when they're little.

[teeny]

Yeah, that's probably true. I better enjoy it now while they're little. When theyr'e older they will be staying up later so I guess I'll have to find more creative ways to get my "me" time.

[5ft Diva]

Well, also when they're older their problems are bigger and so it takes a lot of mental and physical energy to stay on top of things. You find that a lot of your thoughts, energy, concerns, and time drift to your kids' problems and so the "Me" time just doesn't magically show up anymore.