 Class at Women's Conference
My SIL attended this class at Women's Conference and loved it. She sent us all this article after finding it. Thought I'd share. Quote:
Raising worthy, righteous sons is 'high adventure'
By Robert Walsh
Mormon Times assistant editor
Published: Monday, May. 5, 2008
PROVO -- As far as Stephen D. and Margaret D. Nadauld are concerned, the words "It's a boy!" open the door to high adventure.
And they should know. They are parents of seven sons and grandparents of 13 grandsons, along with seven granddaughters.
"Boys are the greatest," said Stephen Nadauld, who with his wife presented the BYU Women's Conference workshop "We Are As the Army of Helaman: Raising Sons and Grandsons" Thursday at the Brigham Young University campus.
One characteristic of boys is that they're physically active and need an outlet.
"It's against their nature to sit, ponder or be quiet," he said.
Margaret Nadauld agreed: "You can feel the energy of boys bubble over."
She recalled that when her husband was away on Sunday church assignments, she would try doing quiet activities with her boys. She would have them sit on a blanket outside to talk, but the wiggles soon took over. Quiet strolls around the neighborhood didn't work either. She would resort to having them race to a light pole and back or see how far they could hop on one leg. It was all designed to channel that boundless boy energy.
Stephen Nadauld, a BYU professor of business management and recently appointed president of Dixie State College, is also a former member of the Second Quorum of the Seventy, former president of Weber State University, former counselor in the Young Men general presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and former president of the Switzerland Geneva Mission. So he knows boys.
"Hitting, running and yelling are normal," he said. Boys are not easily offended and not subtle. Parents can be much more forceful with boys. They can have tender moments with their sons, but they must be plain in their communication.
He said boys' interest in girls happens later than girls' interest in boys, and that's a good thing. The time to teach boys to honor girls is when they're young, not when their interest in girls is high.
Margaret Nadauld, an author, educator and former LDS Young Women general president, pointed out another male characteristic: "Boys love food -- and lots of it." She urged audience members to feed their sons well-balanced meals. Salad-type diets won't work, she said. ("Boys need he-man food.") But be sure to provide the five food groups with plenty of fruits and vegetables, she said.
"Boys will come home for mealtime," she said. "If you prepare it, they will come."
The Nadaulds listed five prime areas that parents must teach their sons: work, responsibility, respect, expectations and reverence.
"If you expect your boys to work, they will work," Margaret Nadauld said.
Her husband added: "Boys need wood to chop" -- work that appeals to their natural masculine tendencies.
They can also learn to work inside the home, his wife said. Have them carry out the garbage, vacuum (they can admire their straight lines in the carpet), set the table, clean up after dinner and even sew.
"Boys who learn to sew are well-served on their missions," she said.
On responsibility: Stephen Nadauld said boys need "something to be responsible for and someone to be responsible to." Honesty, goal-setting and learning to handle money are important areas, he said, adding that parents should be careful not to spoil their children with their means or generosity. "Learn as they earn" is his mantra.
On respect: He said boys should be taught early to respect their sisters and mothers. Common courtesy should include opening doors, standing up when a woman enters the room and helping them to a seat. Margaret Nadauld said women can and should set the tone for respect in the home. No crude or harsh language should be spoken. She also urged the audience to teach their children to respect their bodies by discussing body parts with respect and using the proper terms.
On expectations: Margaret Nadauld said boys rise to expectations, so expect them to come home for dinner, get up when they're supposed to, do their chores and get an education.
She recounted a story that has become a family legend. One Sunday morning, one of their sons was still in bed when it was time to get up for church. He was too tired because he had stayed out late the night before. Her response? "I'm tired, too. I stayed up late waiting for you to come home, so slide over." With that, she got in bed with him. Yes, he immediately got out of bed, saying, "This is so lame. I'm going to church."
On reverence: Margaret Nadauld said a mother starts a sacred partnership between herself and God when she first holds a new son. As he grows older, she counseled, let him see you tear up at church and let him see and hear you pray. If your son tries to talk to you during church and you're intent on listening to the speaker, Stephen Nadauld said, he will learn reverence.
Above all, he said, don't give up; be patient.
"The payday is later, when they've served an honorable mission and when they're in the temple with you," he said.
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05-07-2008, 12:43 PM
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