sweet boldness

[Erudite]

I would like to have a discussion on "boldness". I've always been known as a "bold" person. Sometimes I have taken that as a compliment and other times I know it is a criticism. I've even been told by leaders that I was "called to be bold" because I already had the ability within me. But I know that my boldness is not always taken well.

I had someone say to me once that his mission president said that the way to be bold was "sweet boldness"...that is a boldness that comes from a place of love for the person or people who are hearing whatever it is. But again, I know that even though it is expressed in love, it is not always taken well by the hearer. But that doesn't stop me from being bold when the Spirit prompts me and I know that many leaders also feel the need to be bold.

I guess I just wonder if there are strategies for saying the right thing, without diluting what the Spirit needs to have said. Is there a way of approach that works best for you?

Or from the otherside are there times when boldness strikes you and you have to really swallow hard not to be offended. How do you do that?

[PhillyGirl]

I think sometimes you have to be bold. I go into situations like this with a lot of thought and prayer. I want to have my thoughts organized so I don't say something stupid. I want to talk to the person when I am calm, not to let my emotions control the situation. You never know how what you say will effect someone. You may or may not offend them; but I think if you go into the conversation carefully maybe even treading lightly you will be less likely to do so.

I just had an experience with this the other day. I had to talk to my friend about her disciplining tactics of her little boy. Can you imagine how hard that was. I was afraid that it would affect our friendship if I said something but I knew it would if I didn't. Her boy was getting away with murder and it was starting to effect my daughter and her behavior. So I thought about it a lot and prayed for the right words. What was funny about the whole thing was that she had noticed that she had gotten really weak and her and her husband wanted to make some changes. She was grateful that I was a good enough friend to be there and say something and offer my educational background advice.

There are going to be time that I offend; as there already have been. I go apologize where I can and maybe try to explain myself better. I think most, not all, offending is done unintentionally.

As far as not getting offended; I need a little work in that area myself. I have a hard time letting the big things go. My memory is too good. Prayer and time has worked well in the past.

[5ft Diva]

I was struck by how PG used her "pure knowledge" to talk to her friend. I think that is one of the first keys to being bold. Sometimes I need to do some sort of an evaluation and ask myself if I'm being bold because I need to get something off my chest or am I being bold because I truly want to help the other person? I find that if I want to get something off my chest I am very opinionated, judgmental and critical of the other person. I don't feel I'm on solid ground necessarily because I'm afraid I'll hurt someone's feelings for telling them like it is, so to speak. I find though, that if I really care about the person and I want to help I find out all the information I need to to back me up in what I'm saying. Going to the Lord in prayer is huge. Becoming educated in your concern is huge. It's hard to get angry at someone when they share pure knowledge. Anyway, those are my thoughts. I don't know if this is necessarily what you were looking for but it's what came to mind when PG shared her experience.

[Erudite]

Originally Posted by 5ft Diva

Sometimes I need to do some sort of an evaluation and ask myself if I'm being bold because I need to get something off my chest or am I being bold because I truly want to help the other person?

That is a great measuring stick!

[Mamallama]

Thanks for sharing the thought of "Sweet Boldness" in and of itself. What a great term! I don't really have advice to give as my struggle has been that of how to become more bold. It takes a lot of courage and nerve for me to do so. There have been times where I have kept silent when I should have spoken up, that I regret. I have come a long way when I think about how I used to be and how I am now, but I still have a long way to go in getting this right...I want to keep the sweet side, but yet there are times when one needs to stand and speak up and do and say the right things, even if it means putting some sweetness aside in order to do so. Diva's thought is a great one...to consider what my true intentions are before speaking up. "Sweet Boldness" is such a great way to consider how we should be. I"m going to ponder this lots more! Thanks again!

[5ft Diva]

When I think of sweet boldness I think of President Hinkley or one of his counselors.