CH1 - Called to Love: Assignments

[5ft Diva]

I just wanted to say, that coming up with a list of people on assignment #1 was difficult at first but the more I focused on the ability to simply love it became easier to realize who I hadn't shared that with in a while. I have recently found that others don't always know how we feel about them unless we tell them by spelling it out for them. That's what I interpreted these assignments as. Am I the only one that needed a homework assignment to get headed in this direction?

[Erudite]

I originally thought my list should include my siblings, but I actually just expressed my love and admiration for them individually in our family forum online, so I kinda feel like I did this assignment already. It was good to do it though because it really brought home what awesome people I have around me and how much I can learn from them. Most of my siblings live close by, but I rarely see them or talk with them and what I think I need to do is make more of an effort to reach out to them on their terms....finding out what those terms are is what I find hard, so the best way to think this through is to think that I can reach out to them with my love and that's a start. With love I can begin to understand their terms and hopefully build a better relationship.

Their terms...is the same is "their song" which is why I started the forum on Wildflower's signature about "singing their song back to them". It's good practice for us all to take ourselves out of ourselves and consider things from another's perspective...that is understanding someone else's song. I think expressing love for someone is the beginning of that, because figuring out what you love about someone helps you to see what makes that person tick and that helps you to not criticize nor feel criticized by other people.

So I can totally see how this assignment is the foundation for the book.

[5ft Diva]

Hmm, interesting connection. Thanks for that insight Erudite. I too have read this book before so I did this assignment a while back but what I found so interesting was that those I felt the closest to I found myself criticizing the most. In my mind I was loving them. It was a big eye opener for me to realize how much I criticized "out of love" - what a cop-out! It hurt my brain to think differently. I'm probably getting ahead of myself because I didn't take on this assignment until after reading chapter two (and this is probably why the assignment comes before chapter two) but nevertheless, it is a huge mind shift. But having the love for others changed how I felt others felt about me. Instead of assuming everyone was criticizing me, I felt they loved me. There's a lot of truth to that old saying, "we are our own worst critics."

[Erudite]

Originally Posted by 5ft Diva

But having the love for others changed how I felt others felt about me. Instead of assuming everyone was criticizing me, I felt they loved me. There's a lot of truth to that old saying, "we are our own worst critics."

This is not what I meant when I said above that we won't feel criticized by other people, but I love this take on it. I meant that we wouldn't feel offended by other's lack of tact or whatever, but I like the idea that in learning to love others we start to assume that they love us in return. I see that as my next step...thinking that others love me rather than criticize me. Thanks for showing the way!