CH1 - Called to Love: Thoughts

[5ft Diva]

I was at the pharmacy today - without kids - and so I had a few minutes to read all of chapter 1. I've read through this chapter at least three times but for some reason, reading it knowing that I would discuss it was a whole new experience for me. I really had to think about where my thoughts and feelings were coming from while reading this chapter. I've never done a book club so bear with me - I'm a rookie.

The story of Dr. Lund's Grandmother touched me because she was so innocent in the grand scheme of things. I know there have been many people in my life that I've ignorantly judged and later found out that I was dead wrong and I would've given anything to take those judgments back.

I love his comments on the difference between loving and judging and simply loving. You'd think that because I'm grateful to be among the majority that simply loves that I'd be better at not judging others "as being unworthy of [my] love and friendship." The only thing I kept thinking through those paragraphs was , "Is it really this simple? I only have to love?" One day I'll get it right, that's why we have this book club, right?

The concept of who should judge others and why they judge them is revolutionary for me even though I've heard it a thousand times. I love the long quote from President Hinkley. There was one part in it that spoke directly to fathers but it applies to me just as much, I'm sorry to say. I'm going to take his challenge to "speak of one another's virtues more than we speak of one another's faults".

There you have it. What are your initial thoughts on this chapter?

[crazyK]

I have also read only the first chapter but I felt the same. We don't know the cercumstances of everyone so how can we judge. But we can love without knowing the circumstances. I also thought it was interesting that those that can judge have the keys to judge. So, there is judgement but only from those that God has put into those inspired callings.

[5ft Diva]

I'm a boundaries person and I have to visualize everything as well so this has been an interesting concept for me to wrap my head around. It's easier for me to understand how to love others when I'm thinking to myself, here's their space and here's my space, because it is so easy (when I'm not on my guard) to throw out a couple of judgements or criticisms here and there. This is definitely a learned behavior and it can become a habit, just one that may require some real work on my part.

I would love to understand it so that it becomes my way of life and my kids just learn it and create those habits early in life and don't have to go through what I'm going through right now. Imagine how much further ahead they'll be in terms of relating to people if they that happened.

[Erudite]

Originally Posted by 5ft Diva

I love the long quote from President Hinkley. There was one part in it that spoke directly to fathers but it applies to me just as much, I'm sorry to say. I'm going to take his challenge to "speak of one another's virtues more than we speak of one another's faults".

There you have it. What are your initial thoughts on this chapter?

I too underlined about half of the quote from Pres. Hinckley. One part that I've been working on is "still our voices of insult and criticism." I used to find myself being very critical of others and though I thought I kept most of it in, I don't think I was as successful as I thought I was. But I think I'm slowly succeeding in making a difference in my thoughts. I drove past a jogger the other day who clearly needed to lose a few pounds and my thought was "way to go, girl! Isn't it awesome she's out jogging! I wish I could feel as comfortable jogging on the road." It took me a few minutes before I said...hmmm that was a very constructive approach. I could have been criticizing the jiggles, but I wasn't and still don't. I have the jiggles too and have absolutely no right to criticize someone else's jiggles. I'm finding that I'm getting better and better at finding the good before the bad can get in. It's easy to kick the bad out of your head if it does get in, if you've already found the good.

[5ft Diva]

It's definitely a skill you have to train your heart AND your mind to see and they have to be in sync w/ one another in order to really see the good instead of the bad.

[Erudite]

Training is definitely needed, because seeing other's worth is the first step to helping others see their own worth. Believing that others are basically good is faith. Seeing worth in everyone is hope. Helping others to recognize their own worth is charity. This is one application of the continuum we are on.

Whew...6 pages and this already a lot to consider!

[foxyroxy]

This chapter made me realize that I should not judge others and when I have done this have regretted it. I have thought alot about how I should love and not be judgemental. I too loved the quote by President Hinkley. Especially the part about accentuate the positive and look a little deeper for the good. I too am going to focus on others virtue and not their faults.

[5ft Diva]

Originally Posted by Erudite

Believing that other's are basically good is faith. Seeing worth in everyone is hope. Helping others to recognize their own worth is charity.

This is a great concept. I never thought of how faith, hope, and charity are applied to an individual. This will help me out with my children.

FR, thanks for sharing your goals with me. It makes it easier for me to work diligently at mine knowing that someone else has the same ones because we can talk and compare notes and discuss what works and doesn't work. Do you have a mental exercise that you do that helps you accomplish this?