CH2 - Living a Higher Law: Contructive Criticism

[5ft Diva]

This is the beginning of a lot of threads for me. I am only able to talk about one idea at a time rather than a big idea at the end so here's the first one.

The first thing I wanted to touch on is that there is no such thing as constructive criticism. This idea pierced me to the core because I have caught myself saying that before to my children, "Would you mind if I gave you a bit of constructive criticism?" Dr. Lund discusses how to construct is to build up and "to criticize is to tear down, to find fault, to condemn." There is nothing in the definition of criticizing that builds anyone up.

After reading this section of the book I felt I had on a new set of lenses. I have look at myself and what I have to say to others so much more closely. I don't want to tear down, find fault or condemn anyone. It hurts my heart to think I've done this (and continue on some level to still do this).

[foxyroxy]

That part really got me thinking about the things I say also. I have a hard time knowing how to get my children to improve with out criticizing them. I feel like I am always harping on them to get there chores done the way they should be done. Any ideas??

[Joanie]

One of the principles that God teaches us is that we must first teach before correcting. "Therefore God gave unto them commandments, after having made known unto them the plan of redemption..." Alma 12:32

When my children do not do their chores the way I would like, I assume that I have not adequately taught them. As I give them a chore sometimes I give them too little direction and think that they will know what I mean. When I ask them to clean the sink, I know that means to use certain cleaners and to rinse it well, to shine the silver and put everything away. They don't know all the baby steps. So, the first few times they do it, I need to do it with them. I teach them but do NOT do it for them (I tend to want to take over because they are slow). I ask them to look at what they are doing and see if it looks clean. If we both agree then I praise them for how well they have done it. At first it takes a long time to clean the sink but in the long run they learn the way I want it done and I don't come in and yell at them for not having done a good enough job. I have tried this and when I do it it works well. Lots of times I don't do it and --sigh--things don't work out as well. Well, I hope that helps.

[5ft Diva]

That helps a lot. That was a great example - application at it's best. I know why you need to post on here more often. I understand the information but you help me to apply it. Thanks, Joanie!