CH2 - Living a Higher Law: Criticism brings about change

[5ft Diva]

This part of the book talks about the myth that criticism brings about change. I look at this part of a book through the eyes of a parent because it is about how we want to change people and how to effectively or ineffectively do it. The people who's lives that I have the most influence on is my children, thus, looking at this from a parent's point of view.

My favorite parts of this section (so far):

"Sincere praise and acceptance inspire behavioral change."

"The coaches with the best winning records have one thing in common. They love to see their athletes overcome adversity and become their best." Just replace the word coach with parent and you've got your winning game plan!

"Criticism, invited or not, lessons the probability for real change. one of the true dangers of listening to criticism day in and day out is that those so treated come to believe they are not worthwhile, they can do nothing right, and they may become hyper-self-critical....Self-criticism becomes self-fulfilled prophecy...And self-worth plummets."

He also goes on to say that, "So many have lived so long with intense criticism they cannot imagine a relationship without it."

I think the reason this section hit me so hard was because I am looking at this through the eyes of a parent. My children trust me. To them, I'm perfect - I remember thinking that about my parents. If that is the case then I'm teaching them that perfection includes criticizing others which it most definitely does not. My children are not capable (most of the time) to speak up for themselves and tell me to knock it off when I am criticizing them. An adult and even some teenagers have that ability but children do not. I'm not sure what I'm saying other than I see how crucial it is to instill vision in our kids rather than harping on them all the time about what we wish they'd change for our own conveniences. I hope this makes sense. (Right now I'm feeling a bit passionate about this subject and I'm trying to down play it - that's probably why you're getting scattered ideas from me - if you know me well, you know I just tried to say about three different things here.)

[foxyroxy]

Thanks 5ftDiva you just helped to answer my question I just posted under your other thread. That was what I needed to hear.