CH2 - Living a Higher Law: Frustrations

[5ft Diva]

One of the ideas that lent me a paradigm shift was that "frustration comes from unmet expectations". This idea has changed my approach to all situations. For instance, I had gone somewhere (during dinner) for a few hours and when I came back (between 9:30 and 10:00) dinner was still on the table with dishes everywhere and the kids were just doing their own thing in the house and it was a school night. Now, my reaction normally would've been to get mad and upset and tell BS all the things that one feels they should say to their spouse because they're mad and upset but this time I remember as I got out of the van to walk into the house I had a little voice inside me say, "You only talked to him about watching the kids." At first I thought I was judging BS but then I realized it was the Holy Ghost teaching me realistic expectations so I quickly readjusted my thinking so that I expected what most husbands do when the mom has gone out for the evening. My expectations were that he took care of the kids. He didn't take care of the house and the kids, he took care of the kids. When I walked into the house I was not one bit upset. This may sound cheesy, but I had an overwhelming sense of love for my husband because I was able to see that he took good care of the kids when I was gone. I noticed things about his fathering abilities I hadn't noticed before because I had always gone directly to the "Wo is me" syndrome and criticized him for not being the knight in shining armor at the kitchen sink with broom in hand and rags tied to the bottom of his feet for mopping. In fact, because I wasn't upset I was able to be proactive about the dinner clean up and bedtime for the next time I left. My heart had truly changed that day - it really was amazing. And that's just one example; there's a plethora of them.

Have you been able to rethink your expectations of others and how has it affected you?

[foxyroxy]

Thank you for sharing that experience. I have had this same situation often and I remember one time when I came home from the temple, dishes everywhere but I feel I was able to control my temper and listen to the spirit and just clean up the mess and be grateful I had a husband willing to Be with our children. That isn't my reaction all the time, I hope to improve this, it has helped me to rethink my expectations and hope to bring about positive changes for me and my family.

[Joanie]

"love--the Lord's antidote to frustration"
I am too weak on my own to love people the way they should be loved. I know that God loves them and so I pray and ask for His help in loving. It has changed me. I also ask for help in seeing the good in others. Prayer is my biggest help. I am nothing without God!