CH4 - The Spiritual Gift of Criticism: Receiving criticism

[Joanie]

I will start with a quote from the book. He is teaching about receiving criticism.
"A person is not excused nor released from this responsibility because of the 'packaging' of another...A true believer in Christ is obligated to have the Spirit when criticism is being given or received, independent of the action or reaction of the other party. It requires great dependency on the Lord.
...It has more to do with having a positive approach than being a perfect person."

I was speaking with a friend and shared that I had become more sensitive to the fact that I had been critical about a few s I serve in Activity Days. This person has heard me complain about them and agreed with me that I had been very critical about them. I was very hurt. I wasn't wanting to be told that I was critical. I was hoping for a "No, you're not so bad" approach. I really struggled with my feelings and felt attacked by that person even though I was the one that brought it up and I already had felt the Spirit prompting me to know that I needed to change. I had to take a good strong look at myself and realize that I just needed to change and not to feel upset at the other person. I to admit it but it took me several hours to get over it.
Ahhh, being human is hard.

[Erudite]

Amen!!

That's happened to me plenty of times too. I think if it only took you a couple of hours, you're doing great!!

[5ft Diva]

A friend and I were having this conversation today about how sometimes we will state the obvious hoping that someone will say that everything really is okay but that it's actually more of a service to be told it's as bad as you think it is because then you're dealing w/ reality. You actually have a concrete jump off point where as before you were only shooting in the dark. I appreciated that point of view. We buy into the lie that those who help us see ourselves as we really are are hindering our growth but in all actuality they're the ones that are helping us move forward, it's us that hinders our own growth if we choose not to learn the lesson. That's when recieiving criticism is truly an art. Just a thought from a different perspective. Take it for what it is.

[Erudite]

Ok, I see my gut response above...lol I wonder if another thought might be better though.

Did it occur to you that your friend, in agreeing with you, was being criticial of you? Of course it did...you wrote that you felt attacked. Here's the chance though, to skip to the end of this book and do the "porcupine" exercise. That is, take your ego out of it. I think you did exactly that, and you should feel good that you could do that. 5D is right in that seeing an area to change is a helpful thing and we should feel appreciative of the opportunity that our Heavenly Father gives us in improving who we are...no matter what source it comes from.

Oh...a lesson for me in this! My gut response above indicates that I really need to work through this as well.

[5ft Diva]

Just remember, these feelings you have and that I have when we experience interactions with other people are simply that, experiences. It's not who we are. i.e., I'm not a grumpy mom, I just had a bad moment. It was an experience - not who I am. Say that over and over to yourself, it's easier to take the ego out of the whole thing at that point (at least for me).

[Erudite]

Amen, again. Thanks for the reminder!