Communicating Effectively

[5ft Diva]

What are three techniques/approaches you would list as being key to communicating effectively? (Can't wait to hear all the different answers to this one.)

[bookworm]

Just off the cuff, I would say:
1. Say what you mean, use clear language and mean what you say. That doesn't mean be unkind, but don't cloak what you are trying to communicate-- no games. If it's not nice, don't say it, but if you need to say something, SAY IT!

2. Body language is louder than words- be aware of it and realize that you might be communicating something you don't mean to (like turning your body away slightly while someone is talking to you-- that shows disinterest, even if you don't mean it to.) Smile! Let people know you mean them no harm. Love opens communication much more efficiently than tension or nervousness or grumpiness. (Tone of voice goes along with this-- listen to how you sound, is your tone terse? Is it bored? Is it loving and concerned?)

3. Plan ahead and let people know what the plans are. My in-laws are the WORST communicators I've ever seen. They don't call (or give any details if they do call) until the last minute, and then they are disappointed when you can't come. Just PLAN a little and then everyone involved will know what's going on!



That's what popped into my head when I read your post. I'm sure I could come up with more if I pondered a bit. I love the subject of communication- I love writing, reading, talking, and body language speaks clearly to me, though I admit sometimes I read too much into it. It always makes me a little nuts when someone is a poor communicator.

[Meticulous madness]

I think BW is so eloquent (and on the same page as me) in her response, I'll ditto it.

I do think that communication in general, and communication for a specific purpose are two separate things, though. Diva, are you interested in the generals of communication, or in communicating a need or purpose?

The reason I ask is because I feel like I communicate fairly well, on a general level and with most people. For the last few years I've noticed that I seem to struggle with communicating about specific things, when the subject matter is something I'm passionate about or if the people involved aren't on the same page and/or don't view the subject with equal importance. Maybe it's a matter of letting the passion and emotional aspect of the subject over-ride the logic. I don't know.

The elements of speaking clearly, watching body language and tone are all obviously important in either circumstance.

Sorry for the tangent, just trying to gather my own thoughts on the matter.

[bookworm]

aww, thanks, MM!

[natickgirl]

Good answer, BW.

I would add:

1. Be honest (but not rude). Don't tell people what you think they want to hear, tell them how you really feel. Being dishonest in communications only leads to frustration, miscommunication, resentment, etc. Eventually it all comes out anyway, so you may as well get it out up front. (I'm thinking more of family relationships here...not necessarily telling your casual friend you think her hair looks awful!)

2. Don't try to read the other person's mind, or expect them to read yours. We all come from different circumstances and no two people interpret a situation in the exact same way.

3. Know when to speak up and when to keep your mouth shut. (Hee hee. I'm still working on that one!)