Dealing with Depression

[Mamallama]

One of my older children suffers from depression, went to a therapist for a while, but then stopped and refused to take the meds anymore and refuses to go back into therapy. It is very difficult for his siblings to understand why he behaves the way he does, is very difficult to communicate with, and we’ve all fallen into this pattern of just keeping peace, but it’s not necessarily in a healthy way, because we all allow ourselves to be walked on in order to keep the peace. I don’t know if that makes sense to you, it’s hard to explain without getting too personal….but really we need help with this. I love him so dearly and want so desperately to be able to help him and know how to communicate with him.

I’m thinking that even though he is unwilling to go to counseling/therapy for this, maybe it’s time my husband and I take all of our other children with us into therapy to help us all learn healthy and safe ways of communicating, interacting, and coping with him….and eventually hopefully find ways to help him have a desire to get the help he needs. He is a such a great person with great potential, but this illness just has his true self locked up in prison in a way.

I’m wondering if any of you know of a GREAT family therapist in the Salt Lake Metro area. If so, could you private message his or her name and number to me?

Also, if any of you have insight, ideas, or thoughts on this topic, I’d love to hear it!!

[5ft Diva]

ML, I truly know what you're going through. How did you come to know he has depression? How long ago? How long did he see his therapist? How long ago did he stop? What kind of depression? Severe, mild, etc... If you feel this is too personal don't worry about answering any of this or you can just call me.

[Mamallama]

It's severe. I think in respect of his privacy I ought not to post more details.
But I'll just say that it was a comment one of my kids made yesterday about him and their feelings of confusion over his behavior at times is really what triggered my thinking that all of his siblings are quietly hurting by all of this and have things they need to talk out and work out too. Sometimes it's hard to know how to even put feelings into words. I think so often we focus on the person that is ill or has a problem and ofen forget that those close to that person are affected deeply as well.

[5ft Diva]

Enough said.

There are different approaches. I'm stating the obvious but choose the kind of counseling and counselor that works for you. Several thoughts on this. 1) I needed counseling myself for some trauma that had happened in my childhood. For me it was praying for the right direction to present itself to me and then for me to be able to identify that direction and the courage to move forward. I don't think you need courage but I did. 2) This may be something you want to talk to your religious leader about. He may have some insight for you and may be able to point you in the right direction. 3) Talk to school counselors and get their take on it. 4) Some insurances provide coverage for counseling, if yours does that may be your starting point. 5) Call and interview different counselors and find the one that works for you.

Obviously there are hundreds of different ways to go about doing this and these are just a few suggestions. My intention is not to come across as someone who knows everything so please don't take this post this way.

What finally pulled everything together for me was when I prayed and asked the Lord to teach me how to use the Atonement in this aspect of my life and I'm telling you, He did. I was shown every step, every turn, and every path. I was not abandoned and I know He was right beside me the whole time leading me out of a horrific part of my life.

I think you're wise to get them into see someone who can help them learn how to deal with the affects this has had on them. Good luck! Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Dia Minha]

I just wanted to let you know I would be thinking about you and praying for for you and your family.

Dia

[Mamallama]

Thank you!