PMS blues

**5ft Diva** · #1 03-06-2007, 10:25 PM

I want to make it clear that I don't want advice, just a listening ear and an understanding heart. I'm going to start my period and I want to cry. I'm mad that my needs aren't being met and I'm handling it worse than I normally would. I'm not normally an emotional person - unless I'm going to start my period, and even then my emotions only flare up every 2-3 months. I could've blogged this but I actually wanted to hear how other women feel about this (in their lives), just not the advice....at least not this time...I might rip your head off.

Breathe...2...3...exhale...2...3... I think I need to go meditate. Now I can go to sleep and wake up in the morning and read this and laugh at myself.

Thanks for listening.

Dia Minha · #2 03-06-2007, 10:41 PM

Oh 5D. I am so sorry, yet relieved at the same time. See this is what this board is about. I have been struggling with this for years and just recently started back on the roller coaster since having my last baby. However, for some reason I didn't even think about coming here to discuss it. Well, I guess I did think about it, but then didn't.

Anyway, just today I was saying to my husband how miserable I was and how I wish we could just decide right now if we were going to have any more children, because if we were done, then I wanted to put an end to it now.

I have always hated my periods and because of that hated being a women. Hate is to strong of a word, but I can't come up with the right one. I hate the fact that my life is not mine for entire week every month. I am an emotional wreck for a good week before I start and then sometimes the bleeding is so heavy I am afraid to leave the house. So here I am hating being me, because of this "womanly thing" and I go to the temple today and one of the workers just stops me and says, "Do you want to know what I think? I think Heavenly Father must really love women, and that is why he let us be mothers." It hit me so hard, that this is what it is all about. I go through this every month just so I can be a mother. Doesn't make it any easier to deal with by any means, just more worth it.

I have done a lot of research on it and when you are ready I can share what I have learned. Just let me know.

Dia

**5ft Diva** · #3 03-06-2007, 11:23 PM

Oh, I'm not mad that I'm going to start my period. Something that I'm mad about is something that I'm normally not mad about, and I think that's due to my period coming on - and I'm not even mad about it anymore. I've been depressed for like 2 days now. I really need to get some B12 in me. I really do feel better starting this thread. I'm not as upset as you think I am. I think tonight I'm a like a pressure cooker and writing this thread and hearing someone who can relate to me is releasing some of the pressure. Does that make sense? I really just needed to get it off my chest and express this to a woman.

Now that I've picked myself up off the floor from kicking and screaming I can think rationally now. I was just having a tantrum, I guess. I'm back.

Isn't this PMS at its finest?! "One minute she's hot the next minute she's cold."

Dia Minha · #4 03-06-2007, 11:29 PM

Yes, it makes since. See you just did it again. You might have thought you were starting this thread for yourself, but it was really for me. Because I need to hear that I am not alone in this.

You do make me sound pathetic though. Because I do hate it. I dread it. My only hope is that somehow I can make it different for my girls.

Dia

**5ft Diva** · #5 03-06-2007, 11:35 PM

You'll be fine. My periods are pretty run-of-the-mill. It sounds to me like yours are a little more intense. I would hate that, too. The fact that I never wonder if I'm coming or going w/ you says you're doing fine.

Dia Minha · #6 03-06-2007, 11:40 PM

That's good. I just feel bad for my kids and DH, because they get the bunt of it. I can do really good and even hide it for a little while at a time. You would see it if we were together for a whole day during that long week.

Dia

**5ft Diva** · #7 03-06-2007, 11:42 PM

I know what you mean here as well. There comes a point where survival becomes priority number one and image goes straight out the window. LOL. Just thinking about it makes me laugh.

***Big_Sissy*** · #8 03-07-2007, 02:35 AM

Oh me oh my. Everything is starting to make sense to me now. Maybe now I can get out of the dog house.

**5ft Diva** · #9 03-07-2007, 08:17 AM

Oh, if life were that simple. You men, you think because we women are going to start our period that lets you off the hook? Your wife being emotional and hormonal is not a right of passage. What's it like to live in your world?

amberpatomo · #10 03-07-2007, 08:48 AM

Well I hope you have found some peace with your situation. I also can relate. I do not do well with my period but I also seem to be cranky all the time!

I have noticed that I cannot take birth control, be tired, be overwhelmed or be teased. When one one or more of these happens usually I will be moody. I have always had issues with being up and down.

I realize that I make a choice to dwell in it or fight my way out. I need help with finding what works to get out of it. What if anything has anyone else done to fight the hormones or whatever is bringing them down?

**5ft Diva** · #11 03-07-2007, 08:55 AM

B12 - it's a vitamin. I'm sure you knew that.

crazyK · #12 03-07-2007, 09:06 AM

My periods were really bad. Very long and very heavy. I knew birth control was out of the question.(been there done that and it doesn't work for me) I tried the IUD and got pregnant and had a miscarrage. Not going to try that again. So I knew we were done having children so I went with the oblation(cotorization of the uterus). Well, that didn't work. My periods were longer and still heavy and very crampy. So the next step was a hysterectomy. I did it here in tooele and thought everythig was well, but then I got an infection. In and out of the hospital. But in the long run I don't have periods anymore. but I still have the emotions because I have my overies still. I have found that When I liston to music and we have the dramatized book of mormon and new testiment and church history and those seem to keep me and my children more calm, loving, patient, ......... Now I don't do that all the time but I do notice a difference when I do do those things. So, yes I am giving the kindergarten answers of saying your prayer, read scriptures and family home evening and on and on. I usually like to look at the 1st grader level and higher. I need deeper than the kindergarten. Hey, I love this and that we can all talk about things that are real!!!!!!

**5ft Diva** · #13 03-07-2007, 09:42 AM

Great answer CK. I was thinking along the same lines as you. I just didn't answer because I was such a snot last night when I said I didn't want any advice. I'm sure you can all understand, which is why I even felt safe saying it. My thought was simply that it's about putting off the natural man. It's normal to feel the way we feel during this time of the month but we don't have to feel this way. Like Amber said, it's all in how we choose to act once we are feeling this way.

Here's my thoughts on the feeling part of it all. Something that I realized about myself is that I, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, work really hard on having the Spirit in my home. I work really hard on making sure my children are receiving the attention they need and I work really hard on doing my best. But there comes those times in my life when I'm already hormonal and something happens that throws me emotionally and I need that kind of attention myself and I'm just not getting it. Having the combination of being emotional and hormonal is sometimes just enough to push me over the edge and really let people know how I'm feeling w/out regard to how it affects them. I think this is part of the reason why women need each other. Because we understand that about other women - I try to explain this to my husband and he's like, "Oh, no wonder you're so cranky." or "I should've known." That's just not the kind of validation I need. I really hope this makes sense - I'm really not trying to bash men - it's just the way it is, in general. I try my best to be Christlike - putting my weapons down and just talking - but sometimes I snap because I haven't been listened to for long enough or even taken seriously for something that is important to me. I feel that as a friend sometimes, as a mother, daughter, and wife - it happens in all aspects of our lives. It's just going to happen sometimes and I have learned that if I do snap I am needing to be heard. The trick will be remaining the same person we always are - kind, gentle, forgiving and loving even when we haven't been heard and are feeling a little loopy. And even taking it one step further than that, remaining Christlike when we are expressing that we want to be heard. I really hope this makes sense, I'm not playing the blame game here and I'm sorry if it comes across that I am. I just don't quite know how to word this.

I hope you guys can forgive me for my little tantrum last night and I want to thank you for your understanding. Lay the advice on me Dia.

amberpatomo · #14 03-07-2007, 09:52 AM

CrazyK - You miscarried on the IUD????! I just got mine taken out because I was having pain and wierd cramping all the time. I was told it was safe and effective so I tried it. I started doing research on it and found out the IUD (mirena) gives you many serious side effects. weight gain, hair falling out, loss of sex drive and etc. I can say that since it's been out I have lost weight and cramps are gone. Moodiness has lessened but since I have my HYPO thyroid I still am off a bit.

5fD - You don't have to apologize for what you said. I think it was very honest of you to say that. Sometimes I feel we need to let it all out. Like you said we women understand that need. Our men are factual, they often see "getting over it" as a solution. I actually was impressed with your forward attitude. I could feel your frustration through the computer!

**5ft Diva** · #15 03-07-2007, 10:01 AM

Well, I am a pretty forward person, just not so negative. Thanks for understanding.

Dia Minha · #16 03-07-2007, 10:07 AM

As far as I understand hormone levels can get out of balance very easily. With all the research I have done I have learned that we can rebalance them ourselves just as easily. It all as to do with diet and excersise. When our bodies are not getting the right combination of nutrients it can send us all out of wack. I can tell you from experience that this is so.

My very first period after having my last baby was a snap. Yes, I was a little moody, but not to the extreme that I have been this time. The bleeding was not heavy and the cramps were not bad. This was kind of odd to me, because that first period can be a doozy, because it has been so long since having one. This last one, I have been misserable, and because I had a problem with it before becoming pregnant this last time I was afraid I was starting into the whole thing all over again. I did some quick research and was reminded about the whole diet thing and looked back over the last month and saw a pattern.

Last months period that was managable, I was following my food plan of eating lots of fruits, veggies, whole grains and lean proteins. This month I had gotten off plan and was struggling to get back on. I was eating a lot of refined carbs.

I have sinced looked back further to the summer I was having terrible periods and had a miscarraige and then all the sudden my periods were better and I got pregnant again easily after the doctor had told me that I might have a problem due to a hormonal imbalance. I remembered that just before getting pregnant the first time, when my periods were so bad, I had been having a hard time sticking to my food plan. After the miscarraige I decided since I had a couple of months before we could try again, I would buckle down and loose the last ten lbs. so I was back on plan. The two periods I had in between the miscarraige and pregnancy were very managable.

I truly believe that most of the illness and problems we have with our bodies can be controlled with our diet. So my advice and experience has been to eat lots of fruits, veggies, whole grains, and lean proteins. Drink lots of water and excersise. The hard thing is, is that you might not see a big difference right off, like you would get by taking a pill. It might take a couple of cycles to get back on track. But you will be better off by doing it with diet then taking artificial hormones.

I have been putting off laundry all day and now it is 10:00 and early day at school at that, so I better get off this thing now and get busy. However, I hope this makes even a little sense, since I'm in a hurry to get to that laundry, since I love it sooooooo much.

Lydia

crazyK · #17 03-07-2007, 10:38 AM

To the IUD my body rejected it. It came out and I didn't know. Even when I went back for my 2 week check up the dr. said it was there but I don't belive it was(looking back). I get pregnant just by looking at my husband. I had all the symtoms for pregnancy but I had the IUD. So, I did things that pregnant people shouldn't (nothing evil just dieting, meds., and I had a body wrap). I knew I was but I had the IUD. Lots of people like the IUD it just wasn't for me. Again, I do know that the more I am spiritually in tune and take care of crazyK the better I am. I am a mother and a wife but I am me and me needs more that mommy and wife time. Thanks ladies.

***Big_Sissy*** · #18 03-07-2007, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 5ft Diva

Oh, if life were that simple. You men, you think because we women are going to start our period that lets you off the hook? Your wife being emotional and hormonal is not a right of passage. What's it like to live in your world?

ha ha, No one said it was right of passage, but it certainly explains a lot.

What I meant was now that I know what I'm up against, I know what kind of effort it will take to get out of the dog house. Either that or I can wait it out

crazyK · #19 03-07-2007, 02:09 PM

Hey, I have been thinking about this for a while and why not write it out. but I thik that men have a cycle just like women but without the mess. I think they have hormonal issues also. But women get "Oh, it's that time of the month." I don't know that men's hormonal thing is a regular as ours but they have one.

Stargazer · #20 03-07-2007, 02:19 PM

I have the Mirena and I have loved it. I just love not having to worry about it and being spontaneous when we're at the top of the T or whatever

, but I've often wondered if some of my health problems were related to having it, and after reading about some of them here I have gained weight, lost hair, etc. Hmmm. Guess I should do my research. Thanks for the info