Small "I love you" Messages

[5ft Diva]

Happy Valentines Day everyone!

I find it amazing that kids are so quick to love and to be loved. One of my boys has had a really tough time at school for a few weeks and is having a hard time seeing that the people around him care so, naturally, he doesn't want to show that he cares about anyone around him either. But this morning he woke up and saw his card sitting on the table with a small token of pure addictive sugar attached to it and changed from the big, tough boy who claims that he doesn't care about anything or anyone to that sweet, gentle, loving boy I am familiar with.

So this got me thinking that my son's love language is probably little acts of service and/or kindness. I am wanting some ideas about how to do those little acts of kindness so that they are just that, small acts of kindness. I tend to go a little overboard because in my mind everything has to be "tied with a cute bow on top" so to speak. I just need those little ideas that will help him, and my other boys, know I love being a mom. I tell them all the time that I love being their mom but now I need to walk the talk. Any ideas?

[teeny]

The only thing that I can think of is to play with your kids. My Mom didn't play with us a lot as little kids, and now that I'm older I understand why, it's because she never learned how to play herself. She was the oldest of 12 children, and she had to be the second Mommy. Anyway, now that I'm a Mom I'm seeing that I'm unconciously following that pattern. I tell my kids (just like you 5ftd) that I love them and care about them, but it's also doing things that I have a harder time with. I would think, 5ftd that you do LOTS of service for your kids. Right now they probably don't see it, but later in life, they will. I think the most important things kids need is to know that their Mommy loves them, and likes them. The liking part is really important too, I think, and playing with them could show them that. Does that answer any part of your question? Sorry! I hope I didn't go off on a tangent that didn't have anything to do with your question.

[LostnFound]

I need to work on this also, but some things my kids have loved is I will send something to just one of them in the mail. Just a note and a little candy but they love getting things in the mail. I make sure they check the mail for a couple of days. Or I will have somebody (neighbor or another sibling) ring the doorbell and leave something on the doorstep at a set time for one of my children. I make sure they are close to the front door as to be the one to open the door. I usually do this if they are feeling down on themselves.

Also, If I notice something one of my children is doing really well like making their bed, I will leave a note on the bed with a treat. They all eventually receive something, but when it is just for them and not for the whole bunch of them it really puts a smile on their face.

[5ft Diva]

Boy, I know how that goes. My mom was the oldest of 10. I think playing is a huge factor but with five kids (one being a baby) I don't always have time for it. What are some cute quick ideas?

[5ft Diva]

Originally Posted by LostnFound

I need to work on this also, but some things my kids have loved is I will send something to just one of them in the mail. Just a note and a little candy but they love getting things in the mail. I make sure they check the mail for a couple of days. Or I will have somebody (neighbor or another sibling) ring the doorbell and leave something on the doorstep at a set time for one of my children. I make sure they are close to the front door as to be the one to open the door. I usually do this if they are feeling down on themselves.

Also, If I notice something one of my children is doing really well like making their bed, I will leave a note on the bed with a treat. They all eventually receive something, but when it is just for them and not for the whole bunch of them it really puts a smile on their face.

Sorry, I didn't see this post when I posted before. These are some great idea LnF! My kids would really eat up the idea of getting something in the mail just for them. Also, they would LOVE it if they found something on the doorstep just for them. Your kids must think you're the best mom in the world! The only thing I could think of was stuff like leaving a rose on their pillow, but they're boys so that wouldn't work. Thanks for the more general ideas!

[Big_Sissy]

Those are excellent ideas everyone.

[Dia Minha]

Diva,

I had been worried about my relationship with my oldest for a while. I felt like I was constantly nagging at her. I overheard a discussion on tv about building a relationship with your children that talked about finding a common interest in your daily activities. I realized that somehow in all my failures as a mother I had already done this. Ever since then I have worked harder at just making sure I talk to her about her "Kit" (The American Girl Doll that grew up during the depression) whenever I get the chance. It is not every day, but we find a second to look up more information about the depression on the internet. We read the entire series of books together during our nightly reading and both of us enjoyed it. We often talk about what we could do with something besides throw it away and what we think Kit would do.

With my oldest son it's I Spy. I don't know if you have ever played the CDrom I spy games by Scholastic, but they are so addicting. If he is working on a puzzle and I have a second I will just sit next to him and help him find one or two items. If I didn't have time to help hime locate the items I try to remember to just ask him if he found them all while at the dinner table or whenever.

With my 5 yr. old its Thomas. Basically its the same thing, if there is a moment were I can take the time to help him with his track I take it. If not I just ask him at lunch or whenever how Thomas is doing and if he is getting along with Percy or whatever seems to interest him at the time.

I have not found it difficult at all once I really starting looking into it and pondering what my children like to do and do everyday. For each one of them there is something they enjoy that I enjoy too and although I don't always take the time to do it with them, sometimes just talking about it shows them how much you care.

Hope that makes since.

Dia

[5ft Diva]

That is a fantabulous idea! And so simple, too. Thank you for your examples. I'm a visual aid kind of person so the examples let me see how it's done in my head; it feels do-able now. (meaning, I know I can succeed at this because I can visualize it)

[Big_Sissy]

Those are great Ideas indeed.

I know that if I ask our oldest about the book he's reading (book worm) he'll start to BEAM and tell me all about it. I hate reading though, so I really have to pretend that I am interested, but I don't think I'm doing well at it, but he still loves that I ask.

I really need to get the "Great Brain" books and start reading it to them. I think they would love it.

[5ft Diva]

Sheesh, where is my head? I've been trying to figure out what I'd talk to him about and that's like a no brainer! I'll get on that!

[Big_Sissy]

Yeah, remember when you want him to do something.. he's usually always READING! That boy loves to lose himself in a good book. I think he gets it from... me maybe? No no, YOU!

[5ft Diva]

Yeah, guilty!