Don't let it stop you

[Erudite]

Originally Posted by Dia Minha

What I really want is to be strong, healthy, confident, so that I can enjoy every second of the cruise. I know if I were to go right now I wouldn't be able to do all that I wanted, because my body would not allow me to while packing the extra weight.

I told Dia in her thread "My sister is dying" that I had thoughts. The thoughts I was having were coming from the above quote from Dia. So here goes...as you all know, I have fibromyalgia. With fibromyalgia, I believe it's nearly impossible to lose weight. So much so, that I have recently decided to stop the internal pressure of "exercise and eat right". It's been SUCH a relief. I stopped beating myself up for not finding the time/energy to exercise. And I stopped obsessing over every meal that wasn't perfectly healthy.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not eating ice cream and doughnuts for every meal. Compared to what "they" say is the American diet, I'm a very healthy eater in general. I rarely eat less than 5 F&V a day (I average 8 a day) and I don't eat high fat meats or dairy, except for the occasional light topping of cheese. So with that foundation, I stopped trying to find ways to cut or better foods to eat and so on.

And at the same time, I also allowed myself to start loving me at this weight. I'm 40 lbs heavier than when I left Tooele. I gained that over the first two years of being nearly bedridden with fibromyalgia. Loving me at this weight includes actively finding clothes that look cute on me now. It includes talking of myself as "curvey" rather than "fat".

We aren't our bodies and they shouldn't stop us...but they do. But is it possible...if we look for it...that there are "just as good" opportunities out there? Is the cruise really diminished by the body?

Personal example: we were planning to go to Disneyland in the Fall (it's been pushed off due to 15 yo DS's back surgery...his surgeon thinks that October is too soon). About two weeks ago, I told my DH that he should invite his brother as a 6th person, because I knew I would not have the stamina to do a day at Disneyland...let alone three days. But in recognizing that, I could immediately think of several smaller activities I can do in the hotel room. Is the trip to Disneyland diminished by my body? Yep. I have to make some different choices. Does that mean I can't enjoy it? Absolutely not. I can do different things and have a good time and even enjoy my family having a good time.

I don't want to criticize you in any way Dia...I'm just trying to give you a different perspective. I TRY (I'm not always successful) to never let my body tell me that I'm not having a good time. I'm simply making different choices with what I've been given. And that's only as good as I decide it is.

The moral of the story: Don't let 30lbs stop you from having a super fun time on a cruise.

[natickgirl]

That makes sense. I'm always thinking, "If I just do ___, I'll be happy." or "When I lose 10 lbs. I'll feel better about myself." I need to learn to be happy & have fun even if everything is not as I want it to be.

[Erudite]

Yeah, me too. I do pretty well for the most part, but I could do better at being happy ON the journey, rather than just at the destination. My DH has been gently reminding me of that lately. I will go out and see all the work he's done in the yard and sigh about my inability to work at his side and about how much more there still is to do. He says "would you just be grateful for what is done in a day and not worry so much about what else needs to be done?" He's right of course and I am trying.

[Dia Minha]

I have been thinking a lot about this E and it makes so much sense. I have been thinking about how I can put it into action. I still want that ultimate cruise vacation, where I'm rock climbing, dancing, sight seeing, running on the deck, snorkling, and all that stuff and I know I can't do that right now. It is still my goal. However, I have decided that I need a vacation, either with my DH and a shorter cruise, with the idea of just enjoying what the ship as to offer might be a good fit. I could go hang out on the boat and do a lot of the things I enjoy, without having to do everything, because it would just be a "practice" vacation.

I guess what I'm saying, is that I don't feel like I can give up on my goal of loosing 30 pounds. I'm doing really good with excercising right now and I'm really starting to feel great. I just need to get my eating under control. I'm not talking about just eating too much. I really struggle with binging. I can do really well for a week and lose 2 pounds and have one binge day and gain it all back. I feel like if I give up on my goal to lose 30 pounds, I would be giving up on controling my eating. I don't know if that makes sense, but I just know it is something I need to do.

[Erudite]

Dia, what I hear is a woman who knows herself well, who is confident in who she is and what she can become. Those attributes make you the beautiful person that you are. You keep going after your goals and someday they will not just be your journey, but your destination as well.

One small thought I had in reading this thread again was to be amazed at your super fun list of activities. Are you preparing for those now? I ask, because what came to mind as I looked at what I wrote was to wonder if I could prepare (like you might need to prepare for rock climbing?) for a day or two at Disneyland by at least getting in better shape. Since we aren't likely going until next Spring, I have lots of time.

[Dia Minha]

Originally Posted by Erudite

One small thought I had in reading this thread again was to be amazed at your super fun list of activities. Are you preparing for those now? I ask, because what came to mind as I looked at what I wrote was to wonder if I could prepare (like you might need to prepare for rock climbing?) for a day or two at Disneyland by at least getting in better shape. Since we aren't likely going until next Spring, I have lots of time.

E, right now I am working out at Curves 4-5 days a week. I have never been very good at getting in my weight training for several different reasons and Curves helps so much with that. Usually I try to do a lot of cardio, because of the calories in and calories out theory, but it usually back fires. In the past when I have just done cardio, I get hungry and tired and don't feel better. Adding Curves as made all the difference. I'm not loosing much weight, but I'm loosing inches and body fat. I feel stronger and healthier.

This last week we did a family staycation. We had a lot of stuff packed into a short amount of time. I felt like my body was prepared for all the walking and activity, enough so that I was able to enjoy myself. I had some problems with my feet, but I think that was a shoe issue. I also had a couple of "high pain" days, that I was worried would turn into an "episode", but I linked that to lack of sleep. I realize now that when planning any future vacations I need to stick to a sleeping schedule. It is so easy to stay up late while on vacation and my body does not like it. I would have enjoyed it more if I went to bed earlier and got enough sleep. I'm not one who can go to bed later and wake up later and be ok. It isn't the amount of sleep as it is sticking to a sleep schedule. I do better sleeping from 10-6 then 12-8, even though I sleep the same amount of hours. Does that make sense?

So to answer your question, I'm walking and working at at Curves as many times a week as I can. I also know now that I need to solve the problem with my feet. I thought I had that under control, but I guess I need to still work on it. I realized this last time that the extra 30 pounds could be contributing to my feet problems, so losing the weight would also help. I also need to make sure that I get enough sleep, before and during my vacation. So possibly not try and fit too many things on one day, so I can get to bed at a decent hour.

I have to admit that I have thought about the possibility that the weight will never come off and I wonder if I am just setting myself up for failure. When I look at all it would take to lose weight, I don't see anything that should make it impossible. Yet, I still can't seem to do what it takes. Make sense? I'm just not willing to give up hope yet. I keep feeling like something will click in my mind and it will happen. I just need to keep working at it so I will come across whatever it is that needs to click.

[Erudite]

I think it's really wonderful that you do so much. My previous suggestion was about considering being specifically prepared by going rock climbing and working with those muscles. It'd be a good way to shake things up, since the body does get used to what it does repetitively. That might be the way for you to see a change!

I don't think you should give up on your goals. Even though I can't do what you're doing I still want to lose the weight I've gained too!

---------- Post added at 12:34 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:32 PM ----------

Oh...I would love to hear what you did on your staycation too. Those can be so fun and I would love some great ideas for them!