Advice needed!

[bookworm]

Similar to Erudite's system, here is my new idea for helping motivate my kids to do the things we tend to lose track of and forget all summer (like brushing their teeth in the mornings, reading, etc.): I'm thinking I will do some kind of point system. Each daily and weekly chore is worth so many points, and they can do extra stuff to earn extra points. Then they can buy video game, computer, or TV time with their points. I'm struggling a little with the execution, though.

I was thinking I would use beans instead of just tallying points, so they have something tangible to barter with, but I don't know if that's too simplistic for the older boys. I'm also not sure how much value to put on things. I'd like a few other privileges for them to earn, too, so that if they decide they don't want TV that day, they will still feel like doing their daily responsibilities so they can earn something else... but I don't know what. I don't have much (any) money, or I would offer things like "lunch out with Mom" or "swimming at the pool" or even small prizes... but I can't. So... any ideas would be welcome!!

[Erudite]

We tried beans awhile back and just couldn't keep up with the system. That's been our problem all along. We had to go with a system we didn't have to maintain...THEY have to maintain it if they want the privileges of TV, Computer games, friends, or swimming.

I have also thought along the lines of doing extra jobs for extra rewards, but still haven't come up with a way to maintain the system. Last year I posted an extra job list and the money that each job would earn, but few of the jobs got done and little of the money was paid. I can't even do cash allowances. The best I can do is transfer money from one account to another. They don't ever see the money that way, which is good because then they also don't spend it, but bad in that they don't really practice any money management which is the whole point of "allowances".

But that wasn't your question. Sorry I rambled on...You want ideas on no money rewards, right?

How about the right to choose dinner? or choose the family game for game night? or choose the movie for movie day? How about the opportunity to plan a theme based event...for example, I was thinking to have a Star Wars week where we watch all the star wars movies (except III which is rated PG-13 and my kids are still too young). That just costs popcorn.

What if the winner gets a "free pass" on jobs for day? Or gets to trade with a sibling. This summer the housecleaning jobs are mostly based on age (as in the job they do is appropriate to the size they are), so they all want to trade with the 7yo who they perceive has the easiest job. There are other free passes like "no piano" or "no make bed" or something like that.

You could still do Mom time...like making cards out of construction paper for thank you notes to whoever. Or using craft paint to paint something simple like a picture frame (we did that a long time ago for Christmas gifts to Dad...the frames are at his work) or flower pots. (I'm thinking to paint flower pots red, white, and blue for my summer table centerpiece.) How about changing out the contents of picture frames with kids art work...are your kids still young enough to get a kick out of that?

Another Mom time idea would be to teach them something useful like cooking their favorite meal so that they can take over the cooking when you don't feel like it. We recently taught our 11 yo how to make pancakes...SUCH a good thing!...and she thinks of it as a reward.

hmmm I'm having fun now...how about more luxiurious thoughts like a bubble bath? Yeah, I know boys probably wouldn't go for that (but they might). Would they go for a foot massage? (if you can stand that).

Referencing our other conversation where I suggest thinking of the love languages, you might consider what your kids' love languages are and make the reward specific to them so that they get the reward AND the love. The massage is just the thing for the kids whose love language is touch, but the one who wants "gifts" needs the small prizes (even if homemade).

These are fun thoughts, BW (if I do say so myself). I'm glad you asked about this. I can clearly do better in the reward department for my own kids. Our computer pass is a good thing for getting the essentials done, but I need to be better about helping them work beyond the minimum and rewarding those efforts. Now...if I can just figure out how to maintain such a system!

[Dia Minha]

Bookworm, I'm having the same problem. I am terrible about follow through. The rewards, payment, or anything linked to something else has to be immediate in our household or it just doesn't happen.

We aren't dong a family vacation this year, because of the baby. However, my children really want to go to Lagoon. I think we could pull this off. We would need to have several older cousins or friends come along so we can divide them up according to rides and interests according to their age and because this very pregnant mommy is not planning on going. This means three extra expensive tickets. I have been trying to develop some kind of plan or system for them to earn their own tickets by doing the daily summer requirements, but have not been able to figure out a simple enough system that I know I can follow through with.

I too have thought about points, beans, pompoms, but haven't figured out exactly how to track. I have thought about doing a daily tracking where they get a check mark for finishing their tasks and then they need so many daily check marks to earn their and their escorts tickets. But this means I have to become the mommy police and check to make sure duties have actually been completed and for some reason that is so hard for me. Usually when the children are ready to be checked off, I have my hands elbow deep in something and can't get to it right then and then of course it doesn't happen.

Anyway, hopefully someone will have more to add that will help me too. I have another week and a half to figure it out, because I'm not going to try and establish something until after Peter Pan or I know I will just fail.