Contention between two siblings

[5ft Diva]

I have six children. Two of them fight non-stop. And I mean NON-STOP! I used to think that my family was really contentious, but this summer I came to the realization that any contention felt in our home was only between two individuals and spreads to others if they become involved (that would be me!). Here I have been stressing over being a bad mother when it's really just a bad communication problem between two individuals in my family. Whew! That was a close call!

So.....if you've ever experienced this w/ a sibling or have had or are currently having this problem in your home....I would like to hear your thoughts or advice on the matter. I can see that when school starts things are going to get even more stressful between these two individuals and I need to figure out a plan for it now.

**If this post doesn't make any sense please let me know so I can clarify. I really am interested in hearing others' thoughts on this matter.

[Mamallama]

I know it's easier said than done, but I've tried to keep the two contentious ones in our family separated and involved in completely different activities as much as possible.....(I don't know if that's the right thing to do, but I've had to, to keep my sanity)....Also, I've tried to encourage each one to work on developing a different talent or skill-----for example have one learning an instrument and one involved in baseball-----so each one feels unique because they have their own talent or skill they are working on----and when they are practicing whatever it is, they are not fighting because they are working on completely different things....and I notice they then kind of have started appreciating what the other can do....and don't feel threatened by it, because they have their own special thing they can do too.

I don't know if that makes sense, or helps at all....it's a tough problem that has had to be addressed and readdressed many times in our family. One answer will be helpful for awhile....but then it fizzles and we're back to square one....and have to figure out another strategy.

Good luck.

[5ft Diva]

I really like this approach, ML. Thank you for your ideas. And it comes at a great time....just before school start which also means just before sports start up.

[Dia Minha]

I have actually found that I can "discipline" two siblings that aren't getting along to play time together and it helps. I know it sounds like I am feeding the fire, but usually when they fight it is because they are bored and don't know what to do with themselves. So I assign them something to do, a game of Sorry or cards, or finish an entire puzzles. Keeps them busy and brings them closer together.

[Erudite]

There's an article in this month's Ensign or Friend on developing Charity between siblings. I thought it was very good, because it pointed out how the child doesn't intend to cause such problem. Maybe that would help?