Dates w/ our kids

[5ft Diva]

I'm thinking it would be a good idea to start taking our kids on dates. What have you found works and doesn't work for you regarding this?

[Mamallama]

The ZOO. All of my kids love going on a zoo date. We walk and talk and look at animals and laugh together....and don't forget to buy a hotdog!! Zoo hotdogs are the best according to my kids. Sometimes when one of my kids are feeling blue, they'll say can we go to the zoo and get a hotdog??
Every year I buy an annual zoo pass. I don't know what the prices are like in SLC, but the Detroit Zoo pass was $75.00 for the whole family for the year which includes 4 extra family passes so you could invite another family to come with you for free---four times.
We went so often it was well worth the money. AND so when we went there on a date, it was like a practically free date, because the pass was already paid for, so all I had to pay for were the $1.00 hotdogs...we'd bring water bottles to drink.....AND you could go for an hour or two without feeling guilty about trying to see everything to you'd get your money's worth, you didn't need to worry about that because you have the year pass....do you know what I mean?

Other dates with our kids have been the basic take them to their favorite restaurant and a movie. Or sometimes we go out to icecream.
It's really fun having one on one time with them!

[5ft Diva]

Those are good suggestions, my kids would love those. How often do you take your kids? How do you rotate who goes? Do you or your husband take them? Etc...

[crazyK]

Wednesday is our date night with our kids. One month my husband takes the kids (seperately) and then the next month I take the kids out. With my girls we have to hold hands a lot! And we just talk. We have been going to icecream places. But when it is warmer we are planning the park (roller blading, bike riding, walking, tossing the ball, playing soccer). I have taken the little boys to Macey's and have icecream. It has been a lot of fun to see how different my children are and just to be by ourselves. We have really noticed a big difference with our children when we go on dates with them than when we don't. Just doing erands with them has been fun. Not an everytime activity but it has bee fun.

[Dia Minha]

5D, we have found that we can work one in a week. This last Saturday my 7 year old wanted to go to a friend's baptism so we hit McDonald's afterwards for breakfast. It was a blast. Then my DH took my 8 yr old out for icecream when he was running errands later. All of my kids love going to the dollar store. We can spend an hour there just to pick out one little item and it is so fun. I am pretty lucking, because I get one with my oldest every Wed. to and from dance. We talk and work on memorizing the Articles of Faith. Sometimes one of the little ones comes with me and we hang out at the library, while she is in dance and I let them pick the Friday night family movie, they love that.

I agree with just running erands to. I have been meaning to start a rotating chart that would rotate through the oldest 4 and it would tell us who's turn it is to go to the store with Mom or Dad. Just haven't gotten around to it, so we just decide as we are running out the door. Then of course they get some sort of prize or treat while we are out.

I think I have mentioned before about finding something you and your child both and enjoy and do it together. This has been a blast. My oldest and I get on the American Girl website and "window shop" for Kit. This also helps when B-days and stuff come around, because I know exactly what she wants. With me 7yr. old, he loves board games. All you have to do is point and say Battleship and he is yours for the next hour. My 5 yr old, loves his trains. We could spend an hour just setting up his track. He also likes Mancala (a board game) and we can race to see how many games we can play in 30 mins. He wins most of the time and loves that. My three yr. old loves cooking and baking. So we pull out the easy bake oven and make cookies or brownies, and it doesn't even have to mess up my food plan, because you only can make two cookies or brownies at a time.

Dia

[Dia Minha]

I have started an other reply here several times, but keep loosing it. My last post got cut short, and was very disorganized, because I was headed out the door and didn't get to revise,before posting. I feel like I really didn't answer any of 5D's questions so I am going to try again.

Schedules do not work for me. Even my kids will tell you this. In my little family we are very famous for the "something came up" line, because for some reason something always does. Spur of the moment things work best for me. However, I was talking to my Bishop's wife (she would laugh if she heard me call her that, but I'm trying not to use names here) about this exact thing just the other day while taking the preschool kids to the zoo. Several times I have heard her children talk about one-on-one time so I asked her how it worked. The way they do it is they just plan on it for every Saturday and rotate through the children in order. They decide which parent is going according to what they have scheduled that day. If mom has something going then dad goes, and the other way around. If there is a family event going on they just push the next child in line to the next Saturday. The child gets to decide what it is that he/she wants to do. I loved this idea. It is so simple it just might work for us. That is what we started last Saturday with the breakfast and ice-cream thing. It just worked out that we fit two in on the same day.

Also, my DH does what we call PPI's every Fast Sunday. He interviews each child seperately, they talk, he shares a scripture or thought and then, and this is why they look forward to it, he gives them their allowance and helps them divide it up between, tithing and savings.

Dia

[5ft Diva]

Thanks for the insight Dia. That's awesome what your hubby does. You're kids are going to be so much further ahead when life throws them a curve ball because they've been taught so much.

[Dia Minha]

It looks better on paper then it really is.

Dia

[5ft Diva]

LOL! I know what you mean.

[Dia Minha]

LOL! I thought you were going to call me on that. It's even funnier that you understand what is was that I was saying.

Dia

[Mamallama]

You guys, I mean gals are so funny. Seriously these are awesome ideas and are going to pay off big time for your family.....even if it's not near as organized 'off paper' as it looks 'on paper'! Life is just that way...we have to be flexible in our plans. I love all of these ideas!

Can I like rewind life now, so I can start parenting my kids over again with these great ideas?! My memory of raising my kids when they were all small is very foggy now...I think perhaps it's because I was exhausted at all times back then. The days of no sleep were hard. I think I was doing good when I cooked them a meal and could find them clean socks and underwear to wear in the morning....those were successful days!

[5ft Diva]

Thanks for that insight Mamallama. I needed to hear it. It helps me see the light at the end of the tunnel. Not that I'm in rush to get there, I just need to know it's there - if there's a light, then I'm headed in the right direction. Know what I mean? Keep those gems coming!

[Dia Minha]

Thanks, Mama, I neede to hear that too.

Dia

[Dia Minha]

It seems I forgot to mention the timer game I play with myself. When I notice that one of my children need a little extra attention, whether they are getting into a lot of trouble or just being fussy, I will set the timer for anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes, depending on the severity of the need and then they get mommy time. These are the times where we pull out the train track, or get on the PBS website together, or window shop. All of my children love the I Spy books and they love to see if we can find all the pictures on the page before the timer goes off and we have to get back to work. I use this for rewards for myself too. Get the dishwasher loaded and then you have 10 minutes on B&S. Or, if I need some help getting something done, I tell the kids if you spend 10 minutes helping me pick up the living room then I will play with you for 10 minutes. I find this gives each child some one-on-one time with me every day.

Dia

[5ft Diva]

Good ideas, Dia.

[Mamallama]

I've done a similar type thing as well Dia. In particular when they were ALL younger. When one was just constantly fighting or getting into some sort of trouble---I'd think, maybe they need some one on one time with me. I'd drop everything I was doing and sit down and play a game or read some stories with that child for sometimes even just 15 minutes, and it was absolutely AMAZING how their demeanor would change. Their angry frustrations would simply melt away and it was like they were a new person, just in a matter of 15 minutes! Maybe it somehow validates them having us take the time to acknowlege them by talking and playing with just them, for even just a few minutes.....did that makes sense there?...It did in my head anyway-----That is a GREAT idea Dia that has worked very well with my kids too.

[5ft Diva]

I think those are great ideas. I tend to not do that because I worry that I'm applauding their actions when they get naughty. Where do I need to adjust my thinking?

[Mamallama]

Oh no I'm sorry to mislead you 5D. I wasn't suggesting to do this when they are being "naughty" just to be naughty. What I meant is spending time with the one when the one is obviously having a "hard day" such as when they are crying at the drop of a hat, and/or their feelings are getting hurt by every other word their sibling is saying to them, or they just seem down right frustrated and maybe they are causing some trouble because of their frustration. This is when I think to myself, maybe this little child needs a few minutes of quality one on one time here with Mama.

I think there is a difference between kids getting into trouble when they know they shouldn't be doing what they are doing, and that of one getting into trouble because they've been pushed to the point of frustration.

Does this make any more sense? Maybe not? Sorry if I'm not explaing very well. I totally understand your point about not rewarding "naughty" behavior. I don't want to do that either. As their Mom, you have to make the judgement call on this. And it's not always an easy judgement call....oftentimes we have to do trial and error experimenting to see if something will work out or not, for our family situation....

[Dia Minha]

Yeah, what Mama said.

I tried twice to post an answer to this today and just couldn't get the words to make since. She got it just right.

[5ft Diva]

Oh, yeah, that's totally different. Thanks for clearing that up for me Mamallama. Thanks also for what you contribute here to the site. There's something about the way you present ideas that makes me believe I can be a great parent and that my kids will turn out fantabulous!