Do It This Way or Do It Your Way?

[Dia Minha]

I'm having a struggle with preschool right now. I come up with these fun, creative crafts and projects for the girls to do, but they never turn out very cute.

Let me give you an example: Today our theme was "Where the Wild Things Are" based off one of my family's favorite picture books of course. The craft project was making monster masks, or for the purpose of our theme "Wild Thing" masks. I used a large piece of construction paper and cut the top fourth into three equal parts and folded them together to make a more mask like shape. All the girls had to do was cut the bottom to make a chin any shape they wanted and then use different items I had on hand to create eyes, nose, mouth, horns, hair, etc. There was colored construction paper, pom poms, pipe cleaners, googly eyes, shredded paper, etc. I put together an example using a little bit of everything so they could see the possibilities. We talked a little bit about the wild things in the book and what made them look like wild things and what else might make something look wild. We talked about how the wild things in the book had big eyes, horns, and some had lots of hair and sharp teeth. My mask turned out really cute, so I was really excited about what the girls might do. When they were done, I was little dissappointed.

The only I think I could have done different besides just make them myself is to cut out different colors, shapes and sizes of noses, eyes, and ears and then just let them choose which ones they wanted. Of course I am very much into wanting and letting them do whatever they can and want.

So I guess the discussion I wanted to start was this: Would you rather your child bring home a really cute craft or one they had done all by themselves? Because although I love encouraging my kids to do their own thing, I also really like cute projects to turn out cute.

[Erudite]

How did they feel about their efforts?

[5ft Diva]

I am most interested in seeing what they come up w/ on their own. I feel like their projects are a reflection of what's going on inside their heads. It helps me understand them better.

[Big_Sissy]

I have to agree. Though, I have a VERY hard time letting them be themselves, so I can completely understand your frustration.

However, when I step back and look at the situation and ask my self: "What do I really want them to get out of this?" I see that my controlling ways are wrong, and this is really about them and has little to nothing to do with me (as I thought it did). So I have to let go, and look at the positive aspects and take them for what they are.

I certainly would like them to color within the lines, so to speak, but in the end that's just not what's important.

I have to remind myself of this ALL THE STINKING TIME!!! But I'm working on it.

[Dia Minha]

E thanks for reminding me that how the girls feel is more important than how I feel. I don't think that the girls would have cared either way. If the directions were to take the shapes I had cut out and use them to create a face, they would have happily done it. However, one of the main purposes of the project was for them to cut. And like Big S said that is what was important. So, we did accomplish that.

Thanks for your insights Diva.

[natickgirl]

I prefer to let the kids do it themselves. I think that doing it for them sends the message that their efforts aren't good enough. I will sometimes offer suggestions if I feel they are getting frustrated, but usually I try to stay out of it. I have learned this the hard way because I have a very perfectionist daughter who gets extremely upset if she feels she has "ruined" her project. It would be so much easier for me to just do it for her so it turns out "right", but that would defeat the purpose of having her do a craft. I remind her again & again that nothing has to be perfect, and that I like it the way she does it. [This has been a lesson for me, too, because I am way to hard on myself when I try to create things, which is why I never took art in school. I am my own worst critic, but I am learning to let my efforts be "good enough".]

[bookworm]

I have always let my kids have free reign over all craft and art projects, but I haven't done these as a preschool thing, either. In my boys' preschool, they were often given pre-cut pieces to glue on to printed pictures and such, which I never thought of as limiting their creativity- it was all part of the process, and if they are allowed freedom on other projects then it didn't matter to me. But I also don't care if their crafts come out ugly. We can't keep or display everything anyway, so it doesn't matter to me, especially if they like what they make.

I do think, Dia, that keeping the goal in mind is all that matters- if the goal is just using scissors, then the finished product maybe doesn't matter. If the goal is a pretty ornament for the Christmas tree, then maybe a little direction and limits on supplies would matter more. You're awesome to be doing the preschool thing- good for you!!

[Dia Minha]

Natick I have a son that was like that. In kindergarten he spent a lot of time fussing and crying, because the pictures he tried to draw for his book reports were never perfect. He has gotten a lot better.

Excellent example Bookworm, thank you. I have just recently started decorating my dining room with the kids' projects so I like the "cute" things. It seems really silly that I have had bare walls for so long, when I have five amazingly, creative, children in my house. Now my walls are covered with maps and projects and I love it. In fact, my three oldest are out of school this Thursday and Friday and they are excited to have time to make their own masks. I can't wait to see what they come up with to put on my wall.

[Erudite]

Amen!! Kids need the opportunity to do it for themselves and art is the perfect place. Do you know how many times in a day we tell them to do it our way? Eat all your veggies, make your bed, the "d" has the circle in front, those socks don't match, let's do your hair, pick up your clothes, the dirty ones go in the basket, come help with the dishes, sentences have to start with a capital letter..... I bet we could add a lot more. They NEED the opportunity to do it their way for their personalities to grow. You don't want your definition of "cute". You want your children to grow up able to make some decisions on their own. And how safe is it when it's about where the cut-outs go on a mask?

You go, Dia!!! It's awesome what a great Mom you are. We're all learning different things in the parenting thing and it's good to see that you care. Me...lol...I'm just happy to keep them occupied for awhile.