More than just getting by

**5ft Diva** · #1 06-09-2009, 12:34 AM

There are many things that a person in this life does to just to get by/survive (i.e., earn money, hunt/cook, eat, etc.) and then there are the things that help them get a little further along in life (i.e., an education, manners/etiquette, character, etc. - I'm sure there's more - I just can't think of them right now).

Anyway my question(s):

I know most of what I need to teach my kids to survive in this world they are growing up in, but what can I teach that will set them apart from "survival" mode or how can I teach them that there is more to life than just getting through the day? (How can I keep them from acting like the cavemen/women I see in the world today?)

What kinds of experiences can I give them that will help them see beyond just getting up in the morning just to go to sleep at night? Does this make sense?

Dia Minha · #2 06-09-2009, 12:04 PM

I believe the best way to teach this to children is by example. Service is a great way to do more than just survive. Creating service projects that your children can participate in would be a great to teach and show more than just getting by.

Erudite · #3 06-10-2009, 08:27 PM

This is one of those "when you figure this out...let me know" things. I was just giving the "stop doing just the minimum with everything" speech to my 13 yo ds today. It so didn't sink in. I just have to hope that the example thing sinks in at some point!

***Big_Sissy*** · #4 06-11-2009, 01:19 AM

It must have something to do with being 13... talk about a tough age...

**5ft Diva** · #5 06-12-2009, 12:40 PM

So I started looking up some information that might help me with this and what I was led to were the importance of social and business etiquettes. There are things we teach (or don't teach in some cases) in our home that allow our kids to go out into the world as adults and leave an impression on others for good or bad. An example that comes to my mind are things like teaching kids to throw away the empty tube of toothpaste and replacing it with one from the closet or if there isn't a replacement, putting it on the shopping list. This helps instill in children for when they are adults when the copy machine is out of paper to refill it rather than leaving it for someone else to do. Just simple things like that. It's not an every man for himself kind of thing. Anyway, I just wanted to follow up w/ some things that I've found as I've looked this up. Maybe you'll hear a report from me in the future???? But I'd still love to hear what you have to say on the subject.

Dia, I agree that we want to teach them by example, but my question is more, what is it exactly that we are exemplifying to help our children? Manners, etiquettes, and personal hygiene are all important to me and I teach what I can, but I know I don't know everything that would give them that extra "edge" in the interview, or deal, or whatever may come up in their life. That is why I presented the question to all of you.

Erudite · #6 06-15-2009, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 5ft Diva

I know most of what I need to teach my kids to survive in this world they are growing up in, but what can I teach that will set them apart from "survival" mode or how can I teach them that there is more to life than just getting through the day? (How can I keep them from acting like the cavemen/women I see in the world today?)

What kinds of experiences can I give them that will help them see beyond just getting up in the morning just to go to sleep at night? Does this make sense?

I thought of something. The first thing for me was the computer pass for my kids. It's really helping because they are CHOOSING to do what needs to be done before moving on to the fun stuff. That I think is an important skill for right now with homework and for later on with jobs.

The next thing was an FHE lesson on Elder Ashton's pamphlet "One for the Money". We walked our kids through our family finances (which is also recommended in Elder Hales recent GC talk), so that they could understand when we say "there's no more money this week", we don't mean there's NO more money, we just mean that our budget does in fact have a limit. We also walked them through what it takes to run a household and how we manage our family's money, including some of our savings goals and how we choose to save our money for the long run. It really sunk in with the older 2, but not so much with the younger 2.

The last thing is our summer goals. I've done them every year for YEARS now, but this year they really seem to be something the kids are working on. It helps, I think, that I made them summer folders with the goals all printed out and checklists for those goals that have multiple items to complete. The older 2 also got a ledger in their summer folders for keeping track of the money they earn. Both are working toward camps they want to attend this summer and they were required to earn a certain amount of the money for the camp. The summer folder also includes a "what to do when I am bored" list that we made together. This helps them to make good choices and see that they can do good and fun things that also reach toward a goal. I am hopeful this will bless their lives in the long run.

Mostly, I really felt inspired with all the above in specifically helping my 13 yo ds to keep some of the good habits he'd learned through the school year. His final grades were SO much better than they had been and I didn't want him to lose that over the Summer. Even simple things like making sure he's done all the steps to a clean bathroom will be important in him making sure he's done all the steps to complete a project in school. So that's what I'm trying!

I hope it helps everyone (especially me)!