Potty Training

amberpatomo · #1 03-01-2007, 03:02 PM

Okay so I tried the potty thing today. I have been slowly preparing my 2 1/2 year old for it and so far it's gone well. But now that I am taking full force she doesn't quite get it. What do I do when she goes but doesn't care? She doesn't associate the toilet with the wet feeling that comes. She does hate to go when she is walking or playing. It scares her but if she's sitting she doesn't even notice. Anyone with advice please... I need it.

I gotta get her out of diapers!

**5ft Diva** · #2 03-01-2007, 03:26 PM

Be patient.

Dia Minha · #3 03-01-2007, 10:16 PM

I read your post earlier and wanted to reply. I hesitated, because the other forum I post on a regular basis considers this a hot topic. Discussions get heated rather quickly. So just know these are my opinions. Not all of these ideas will work on every child. I have just found that in my potty training four children that they are all different and learn in different ways. So these are the things that worked for me, yet they might not for you, and that's ok. You'll figure it out.

Wait until they are ready. If you start them out before they really have an interest in it, it will cause a lot of heartache and grief for both of you. I was bound and determined I would not have a 3 yr old in diapers and when my third came around he pushed me to the limits. I fought with him for months before giving up right before his third birthday. Just after his third birthday he came to me and said no more diapers. And that was that, no more diapers. With my last she started showing interest at about 20 months. We played the I have to go potty game until she was two, before I finally gave in and let her wear panties. (I wanted to wait until after the baby was born.) She had one poopy accident on about the third day of being in panties and that is it.

Once they show interest, put them in underwear and keep them in underwear. It is very tempting to switch them back and forth to pull ups. This might cause some embarrassing moments at Wal-mart or church. However, if you keep switching them they might become confused and in a desperation will forget they are wearing underwear and pee in them, because they thought they were wearing a diaper. The exception to this is night time. My second actually wore a pull up through the night until he was in kindergarten. Wetting the bed is very common, and runs in my family, and a major concern that no child should have to worry about.

Set up a reward system. My third even after making the decision to wear underwear, still had a hard time pooping in the potty. This is actually very common. For some reason some children are afraid of flushing a part of themselves. After several accidents, I went to the store and bought some cheap little toy motorcycles and set them up on the back of the tiolet. I told him he could have one every time he put his poopies in the potty. I watched him very carefully and when I caught him straining I swooped him up and ran him to the potty. We were both so excited that he made it, I gave him all the motorcycles and he never had an other problem. My last has done very well. However, she is so idependent she won't allow any help. This was becoming a problem, because she would straddle the tiolet and lean back. Even girls can't make it into the potty in this position. She also refused help to wipe, which as you can imagined caused a mess. So we set her up a sticker chart. Every time she doesn't pee on the floor, she gets a sticker. If she goes poopy and calls for someone to come help her wipe she gets two. She is just happy getting the stickers. However some children might be more excited to exchange a certain amount of stickers for a trip to the dollar store or a bigger prize.

The best advice I can give you is don't get frustrated and resort to punishment. Just keep reminding yourself that she is just learning. You wouldn't punish her for falling down when she was learning to walk, so don't do it when she is learning to use the potty.

Again these are just my opinions. Not all of these suggestions will work on every child. However, I hope there is something that might help you in this exciting experiment. All I can say I hope my next one is as easy as my last, but I doubt it.

**5ft Diva** · #4 03-01-2007, 10:38 PM

I found that one of my boys wasn't ready to potty train but I thought he was and pushed him anyway. What resulted was a sense of insecurity in himself with every new thing he tried after that until he was old enough and mature enough to understand new experiences and how to relate to them. You just have to remember, like Dia said, that this is a major life style change for your daughter. It changes everything for her. Her relationship with you (because she's a bigger girl), her confidence level, her level of responsibility - EVERYTHING. Just thinking about how I embrace change makes me sympathetic and empathetic to any child potty training! Anyway, I didn't think about it until Dia posted her well written comment on this subject....she got the wheels turning in my head. I'm not saying that you're pushing your daughter, what I'm saying is I pushed my son and if I can save another mother from the heartache I had as a mother who pushed too hard then the experience was worth having. Good luck to ya!

Ah, potty training, it's a necessary evil!

Dia Minha · #5 03-01-2007, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 5ft Diva

Ah, potty training, it's a necessary evil!

That is too funny. Yes, so necessary, yet, so evil.

Dia

Dia Minha · #6 03-01-2007, 11:00 PM

[QUOTE=5ft Diva;1248]You just have to remember, like Dia said, that this is a major life style change for your daughter.

I just had to say, that I find it amazing how, in just one sentence, you can explain what it was that I was trying to say in a whole paragraph. And so eloquently too.

When I first read your post, I actually said to myself, "I did?". I had to read my post again.

**5ft Diva** · #7 03-01-2007, 11:02 PM

You need to know that the unedited version was three times longer - I cut out a lot before posting it.

Dia Minha · #8 03-01-2007, 11:04 PM

I actually laughed out loud. I don't know how many times I have done that. I actually find it faster to just ramble and post everything then to try and edit it down. That's why so many of my post are so long.

**5ft Diva** · #9 03-01-2007, 11:05 PM

I understand that COMPLETELY!

amberpatomo · #10 03-02-2007, 12:05 PM

Thank you so much for your advice. I have heard there is not right way with every child. Eila is stubborn but does take instructions well. She does poo and pee on the potty when I ask her to but her own urgency isn't really ready yet. So I think I am going to continue to encourage going for a few more weeks and then I will try the no diaper thing. I think she is mentally ready but maybe not 100% with her body. Thanks again.

**5ft Diva** · #11 03-02-2007, 01:35 PM

Reward systems work great too.

Laundrygirl · #12 03-06-2007, 11:30 AM

Hey, I want to put my two sense into this conversation. Potty training just takes time and patience. I remember with my first, I read all the books, asked lots of questions and I was very overbearing. I was told that at about 18 months, they should be ready, easier for girls than boys, my second took until he was 31/2 years old, boy I was in for it. my 3rd and 4th were the easiest. I started them at 18 months and I was very consistent and it took a lot of time and patience. Cambrie is two and is fully potty trained, I bought the "Dora" potty seat and let her run around with nothing on for a while, but it worked. I guess I'm very grateful they caught on very early. I hope this makes sense, with more kids I think it becomes easier because they watch and learn from the older ones. Well, everyone has their own opinions about Potty training, so I hope as you read all these you will feel what you think is best for your kids. Have fun, and remember this is a part of life and you can talk about this when your done and tell others when they are in need of help what has worked for you.

***Big_Sissy*** · #13 03-06-2007, 11:47 AM

Ha, I love this thread. Great advise, and Dia you give solid advise. When it comes to this necesary evil, nothing is fool proof, but that's half the fun, at least figuring out what works is, the figuring out what doesn't isn't so much

amberpatomo · #14 03-06-2007, 03:44 PM

Thank you for all your advice. I am wondering if I should wait until after my mother in law comes for a visit??? She will be here in 4 weeks and I think it will be exciting and maybe distracting for her and me. WDYT??

**5ft Diva** · #15 03-06-2007, 04:43 PM

Having company is a stressful thing. I would wait and not have two stressful things going on at the same time.

Laundrygirl · #16 03-07-2007, 01:14 PM

It might be a good excuse if you are wanting to get away, sometimes I can only stand my in-laws for about a couple of seconds, it's not that I don't love them, I just have a million other things to do and can't sit and talk all day. maybe they might have some good advice for you and can help out while they are visiting. Just my thoughts, let us know after they left how things went. have a great visit!!

missypoohsticks · #17 03-23-2007, 07:10 AM

I totally agree with the panties thing. We did the panties at home and then the pullups when we went to Salt Lake b/c I didn't want peepee all over the car. It was confusing. We just started packing extra clothes and I noticed she didn't have as many accidents when she was wearing just panties. I almost think that when they wear pullups it gives them permission to have accidents. JMHO. Patience, patience, patience and good luck!!