Should kids play w/ toy guns?

[5ft Diva]

Since summer has started my kids have played a lot together and their play involves guns and getting the "bad guys". I have my own opinions about my kids playing with toy guns and decided to do some research to see what the experts are saying about it. I was surprised to find there were experts who were in favor of gun play and I found that there are some really heated discussions out there by people just like you and me about this subject. What's your take on it?

[Erudite]

No.

Well...squirt guns are fun.

[Dia Minha]

We have never had toy guns, but that does not prevent the boys from creating gun like toys. In fact, my nine year old has resorted to making machine gun types out of paper. I have been impressed with how creative he is.

I had a friend whose family did guns. Her husband had guns and the boys got guns for Christmas or birthdays or whatever. They had one rule and that was they never point a gun, not even a toy gun at another person. This made since to me. She said that if a child is trained to not point a toy gun at a person, then if they were to accidently get a hold of a real gun, the chances are good they would not point it at a person.

Anyway, I have done my best to not do the gun thing, but boys seem to just find ways around it. They are drawn to guns, swords and the like. There really has to be some kind of good way to let boys be boys, but not be dangerous or harmful.

[Erudite]

Totally true!! I have a hilarious story about it too. At Christmas time, my kindergartener was in the Grinch play they do every year. They get to wear kooky clothes that day and for him, this included a pair of mittens I'd made him out of bright rainbow colored yarn. So the play is going on and all the kids are singing and my kid? With my camera on him, he's doing nothing, doing nothing then quite carefully, he LOADS his mitten, cocks it, and bring it up to his eye to SHOOT at some person in the audience. Then he pulls the trigger (the thumb part of the mitten). "And that day his heart grew by 6 sizes..." We have it on film for all posterity. It is the FUNNIEST thing ever!

I don't buy my kids guns except for squirt guns, but you're right, they make them somehow. We've had plenty of lego guns around here.

[5ft Diva]

That is a pretty funny story, E. I'm sure he and his kids will enjoy watching that one day.

[Big_Sissy]

I don't know what the hub bub about guns is. Boys will either have toys guns or make their own. What's the difference. Real guns are a totally different story, but play guns are a major part of a boy becoming a man and learning right and wrong (the good guy bad guy stuff). You can either embrace it or run away from it, but it matters not since boys will have guns -- lego, finger, paper, etc. Why not let them use a real toy gun, and imagine having cowboy and Indian fights.

I can tell you that some of my fondest memories from my childhood involve playing cops and robbers with toy guns.

I am a big supporter of the "we don't point guns at people" though. Not sure why because it only makes marginal sense to me.

Diva -- if you disagree with me I suppose we better have our conversation offline

[bookworm]

I am of two minds about this. When I started having sons, I tried not to let them play with guns, but like you ladies, discovered that in a boys' mind ANYTHING can be a gun.

I don't buy them toy guns, and when they do buy them themselves, our rule has always been no pointing it at a person- you can "shoot" imaginary bad guys or targets, but not at siblings, friends, etc.

However... in a very real sense our boys are being raised to fight in the final battle, and I do want them to have something of a (righteous) warrior mentality. Boys tend to naturally develop this, I think, through their violent fantasy play, like lion cubs...

Anyway, I've relaxed a LOT about the gun thing- I don't believe in "boys will be boys" allowing kids to get away with bad behavior, but in the gun sense, boys really will be boys and maybe that's okay.

[natickgirl]

I guess I'm much more right-wing when it comes to guns. I used to be as opposed to them as a person can get. Mostly because I was unfamiliar with them. My dad was captain of the rifle club in HS, and occasionally took us out to shoot bb guns. Once he even let us shoot his shot gun. My mom was scared of guns, so my dad put his away when I was about 9. My husband grew up w/guns as his family were hunters. (He's not anymore, thank goodness.) But he does have a rifle & shot gun.

When DS was little, he wasn't even allowed to have squirt guns. Even so, anything he picked up became a gun. He was really into Star Wars, so he wanted light sabers & toy guns. He got a few for his birthday once (not from us), and the rest is history. =)

We have some really good friends who like to go shooting at the rifle range in Bountiful. We finally went with them a few years ago...once I actually shot a gun & became more comfortable with guns in general, I was OK with the kids shooting them at the range. Rifles & shot guns only, though...I'll never own a handgun or allow one in the house. Larger guns can be used for hunting, if that ever becomes necessary, but handguns, semiautomatics, etc. are only for sport or hurting people. (They are also very loud!!!)

We have some good shots in our family (DH, DS, DD1--I'm not too bad, either). I'm not scared of guns anymore...as long as the owners are responsible & teach their children to be the same. DS now has his own bb gun, which he can only use with permission, and rifle which is only used at the shooting range.

As far as not letting kids point guns at each other, it comes down to education. DS is allowed to have nerf wars & "air soft" wars with the kids in the neighborhood, but he knows if he ever points his bb gun at anyone, it's mine. The most dangerous combination is parents who don't keep their real guns safely, and more importantly, kids who haven't been taught the difference between real & fake guns. They see people shoot each other on TV, in movies, etc. all the time, so that's what they're gonna do if they happen to come across a gun.

Studies have shown that kids who are unfamiliar with guns--even the ones who are drilled constantly about the dangers of guns--have a natural curiosity when a gun is present. They almost can't help but look & touch. I guess I'd rather my children be aware of the power of guns, and be educated about them & familiar with them, than be scared of them. Don't know if that makes sense.

Side note: I used to be very pro-gun control...that no one should have any guns in their homes. I still think there should be background checks done at the time of purchase, especially for handguns, semi & full automatics, etc. However, I strongly believe that the right to bear arms is important. It's in the constitution for a reason. Many, many societies have done terrible wrongs to entire populations of people who were helpless in defending themselves because they'd been denied the right to bear arms.

As with any "right" or "privilege", there will always be those who misuse rights, and obtain or use guns illegally, but that shouldn't prevent responsible gun owners & collectors from being able to purchase & own guns. In the "last days", it may very well come down to having what it takes to defend yourself or to provide food for your family.

I trust my children around guns (except maybe for my 7 yr. old who hasn't had much experience, yet). It's everyone else's kids that concern me. That's my 2 cents worth.

---------- Post added at 10:10 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:06 AM ----------

Clarification: My daughters have shot bb guns & rifles. Only DS, DH, and I have shot a shot gun because they are bigger & have a stronger "kick back". Most shootings you hear about in the news involve handguns or sawed off shot guns.

[Erudite]

Well said, NG!