Sticky Fingers

**5ft Diva** · #1 08-26-2008, 02:17 PM

One of my boys got a really cool Lego toy for his birthday over the summer. While he's at school my four-year-old sneaks into his room and gets it out and plays with it and ends up breaking it. We have tried shutting the door (we can't lock it). We have tried putting the toy up high. We have tried time out. And, of course, every time my son has to apologize. The problem is he keeps doing this. It's very frustrating to me.

My thoughts on how to solve this problem are that my son could earn money by doing extra chores around the house so he can go and buy his own Lego toy. I think this would work out really great for him. So, here I have this solution to the problem, but I don't have a good consequence (which definitely needs to happen). My consequences are pretty pathetic because I've reached that frustrated stage. I feel like just leaving him on his bed all day until his brother gets home and then he can get off after apologizes, but that's a bit extreme - he's four. I'm wondering if any of you have some ideas (better than mine) that I could try that would "impress" upon my son's mind to stop getting into his brother's things.

Dia Minha · #2 08-26-2008, 02:34 PM

We have had this very same problem at our house. My oldest daughter has one of the American Girl dolls and a few outfits and things as well. My four year old was constantly getting into her collection and dragging it all over the house. She did eventually loose one of the little pieces. My solution was to purchase a storage chest for the doll and all her little things. I thought at the time of purchase that the chest could be locked, but when it arrived we discovered it could not. However, my daughter discovered that if she kept it on a particular shelf in the closet that the little girls couldn't even see it, let alone get into it. I guess it became an out of sight out of mind thing.

This doll is meant to be displayed as well as played with. So to have her tucked away in a trunk all the time is kind of sad. Hopefully we will get the basement finished soon and my oldest will get her own room and the little girls will have to just stay out unless invited.

I don't know if this helps any, but my dad always said it is easier to prevent the child from getting into trouble than it is to punish them when they do. My solution would be to find a place where the toy where the four year old can not get it. I know you are in a similiar situation to us, where your children are pretty much stacked on top of each other, but what about providing each of them with a treasure chest or box, maybe even an old suitcase that could be locked. This way they would each have a little place that was their very own and they could keep all their little treasures.

bookworm · #3 08-26-2008, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dia Minha

I don't know if this helps any, but my dad always said it is easier to prevent the child from getting into trouble than it is to punish them when they do. My solution would be to find a place where the toy where the four year old can not get it.

I totally agree with this. I would enlist the owner of the toy in finding a hiding place for the toy while he's at school- my closet, the top shelf of the pantry, under a blanket or whatever. Then he knows where it is when he wants it. My boys are all squeezed into one room, too, so we have similar ongoing issues, even though my youngest son is 9- he still pulls out things sometimes belonging to a very possessive 13-year-old brother, who freaks out. Since he's 13, I've left it up to him to put it AWAY so this isn't a problem, as the rule is, don't get into each other's "special things" box.

As far as consequences, it's so hard for a 4-year-old to completely grasp the concept that they can't play with a toy they like, especially if it isn't in use- it's frustrating to him, too. I would probably do a time out right when it happens, if it happens again, but try to prevent it happening again in the future. Out of sight, out of mind really is the best thing I've done in the past, so I agree with Dia there.

Good luck!!

missypoohsticks · #4 08-27-2008, 05:41 PM

Maybe I'm too hard on my kids, but when my 4 year old lost her fishing pole that we had just barely bought by leaving it at the dock when we were fishing, we told her that she had to buy herself a new one. She had to earn money to do it. I would tell him that he had to earn money to buy his brother a new toy, and if he would like, he could earn money to buy himself one as well.

**5ft Diva** · #5 08-28-2008, 02:28 AM

I think this is a reasonable solution, MPS. I don't think you're mean.

Erudite · #6 08-28-2008, 01:24 PM

Ok...clearly I'm too easy a parent. We have the 5 year old into the 12 year olds legos going on here too. Whenever 5yods is in the house and it is quiet, I KNOW he's in the wrong room. 12yods gets mad when he sees his legos pulled apart (but seriously, they go back together) and I tell him that I'll try to keep 5yods out, but that he also needs to not leave them on the floor if he doesn't want them played with (and they are CONSTANTLY on the floor). This is a two way street in that the 5yods can't remember that he shouldn't play with them...he sees them, they're fun, play! And the 12yods shouldn't leave them on the floor. I wonder...could the two of them work out a solution and I (you) don't even have to be involved?

I also HATE the "mine" crap...er...issue because it is always done hypocritically...meaning the screamer of "mine!" today, tomorrow will be the screamed at. I try to foster a "we can all share" and "that's not going to get broken if he plays with it" attitude so that they take things just a bit less seriously. So I'm thinking when one wants to ride the scooter of the other, the one should let the other play with legos without getting so uptight. Helping them to come up with such a thing might make it more memorable for the younger one...we can hope anyway.