Typical teenage social life

[mxmama]

I was curious people who have 13-14 yr olds, what do you think is appropriate social activity?

For instance, my daughter has someone come to sleep over average once a week (sometimes twice). Also has cheer practice 3 times a week, goes to the movies (with her friends) every other week, and sometimes has 2 friends over to sleep. Last week we let her have a movie party and she had 15 guests over to watch a couple movies.

I wonder if we let her do too much. Anyone else have an example of what they allow their kids to do?

She always makes honor roll, and for the most part does her chores. She usually has to be told things more than once, but she is a good kid.

My parents hardly EVER let me so anything. I don't want her to feel like she is "missing out" Like I felt. I worry I am over doing it, its hard to tell since I didn't get to have such a life.

thanks for sharing

[LostnFound]

I have a 13 yr. old boy. I think it sounds like your teen has a well balanced social life.

A neighbor of mine in a past neighborhood that I lived in always told me to have your house be the hangout and then you will always know where your kids are. Don't be afraid of the noise and the mess just let your house be a fun place for your kids and their friends to hangout. He told me this kept his children out of trouble and they always had a place to be with their friends.

My husband and I decided to give this a shot and talk to the kids to let them know they can always welcome friends over when we are not busy as a family. I have six children, so I know this isn't always going to be easy. It can get pretty crazy at my house sometimes. But at least I know all of my childrens friends pretty well and have my eye on them all.

It sounds like you have a great teen and your doing a great job. That's awesome!!!

[mxmama]

Yes!! yes!!!


Thats exactly our take, yet at the same time we dont want our daughter to be a spoiled brat. So I guess I can bee expecting the "get togethers" to be more often.
In the long run, I would rather always know whats going on.

The problem I see is there are times where a few of the group will disappear outside. Like 6-7 of the kids will go meander around the yard. I don't like this, I feel like they are trying to go "kissing" behind the trees or something



Here is a wake up call for me...
My daughters last birthday party she had a HUGE bonfire...people actually pulled off the highway cause they thought a house was on fire

anyway, it was an awesome party, well at one point I saw them sitting in a circle under a light post in the yard, far away, but still insight. There were a few running around the circle I thought , "awww how cute they are playing duck duck goose"


Turns out they were playing SPIN THE BOTTLE!!

I found out too late, I don't think I would have stopped the game, but I would have watched closer!



I don't know how to deal with them when they meander away in different groups, any suggestions??

[Erudite]

Sprinklers?

[mxmama]

Thats funny!

I wonder if that would work?
Its an idea, also I could post...

"no walking on the grass" signs everywhere!



This is great. Thanks for the help!

[Big_Sissy]

ha ha, the sprinklers idea is AWESOME!

Although, do you even have sprinklers on your Ranch?

I would be a tad worried about them getting off alone like that too.

From the sounds of it, some ground rules need to be put in place.

[mxmama]

Ground rules LOL Pun intended?

RANCH LOL


No sprinklers, but I would buy some for the occasion!

Anyway, so my daughter "knows" the rules but do I make her enforce them or should I do it?


I was thinking
I should have them sign in at the door and put their parents number. Then if one or two meander off, or any for that matter, I call their parents to come pick them up.


Is that too harsh?

[Big_Sissy]

Well, the pun wasn't intended.

I would say that ... hmm, I think if it were me, I'd be the enforcer. I wouldn't want my kid to have to be the bad guy. Just let them know you are happy they are there, but that you want them to know there are rules.

A sign in sheet is a good idea period. Then if something happens, you know who to call. But if you want to specify that heading off in the woods isn't acceptable, and that a phone call will happen if it does. I know as a parent I'd sure appreciate that. But I have no idea what it's like where you are.

[Mamallama]

You could let her enforce the rules but at the same time make it clear to her that if 'enforcing' isn't happening on her part, you'll step in.

Boy that would be difficult to keep the 'grounds patrolled' with how big your property is, but it just may be worth the trouble in the long run to have you or your dh roam about from time to time to check up on things. If they know you are around and might appear at any moment---they'll be less likely to get into 'trouble'. Just a thought. Love the sprinkler idea ER!! I was laughing so hard when I read that one!!

As for the threat of parents being called for those that 'disappear'....I think it's a GREAT idea!

It's better to set the ground rules now, than a couple of years from now---

[Mamallama]

I posted that without reading BS's first. Initially I was thinking that too BS, that I wouldn't want my child to have to be the bad guy, but then on the other hand---it's SO embarrassing to have the parents stepping in all the time---so my thinking was to maybe first give her the chance to handle it, but if it's too hard for her, then step in.

Bottom line, talk it over with your daughter and see what she thinks of the ideas and let her help set up the ground rules. This gives her some ownership on the deal too....does that make sense?

[mxmama]

After the "duck duck goose/spin the bottle" incident we learned to have the spotlight handy


Thats so much fun... sometimes I like to hide outside and watch them wander off about 400-500 feet into the darkness.. then


BAM

BIG BEEM OF LIGHT

They come right back home

[Mamallama]

LOVE IT!!!! GREAT IDEA!!

[mxmama]

Originally Posted by Mamallama

I posted that without reading BS's first. Initially I was thinking that too BS, that I wouldn't want my child to have to be the bad guy, but then on the other hand---it's SO embarrassing to have the parents stepping in all the time---so my thinking was to maybe first give her the chance to handle it, but if it's too hard for her, then step in.

Bottom line, talk it over with your daughter and see what she thinks of the ideas and let her help set up the ground rules. This gives her some ownership on the deal too....does that make sense?

absolutely!

[Big_Sissy]

i agree, talk it over with her. See you can tell I have no kids that are old enough yet -- well, at least not that I treat that way yet...

[Big_Sissy]

ha ha, that spot light would be TOO much fun. I'd be up in a tree with it. Oh, I could have fun with that

[Mamallama]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOhhh me too!! That'd be SOOO much fun!!

[Big_Sissy]

Of couse, I'd need one of those Bull horns too. That would complete the package. Oh that would be fun.

"Clean up on isle 5" as I shine the spot light on them

[Mamallama]

LOL BS, I'm rolling on the floor!!!

[Big_Sissy]

I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm still laughing at the thought... Oh that would be fun, but can you imagine the dirty look you'd get from a teenage daughter after that one?

So I'd have to live it up before I got grounded

[Mamallama]

YEP---you're right!!