Personal Improvement Challenge

[Erudite]

I think we need a challenge. I know I do. I'd like to challenge each of you to choose something that you know you need to improve in (and that you want to share on a public forum), start a new thread about it, and tell us how you're going about it and what you're doing to succeed in it.

I'm reading the book Influencer, by the same authors who wrote Crucial Conversations, and have been wondering about making some changes in my life. I've only read about a third of the book so far, so I can't yet recommend it. (Honestly, I'm not seeing how they're saying to get from point A (where you're not doing what you should) to point B (where you are) thus the reason I haven't recommended it yet...but I did just start the explanatory chapters section and maybe I'll get it.) But it has made me think about some of the aspects of my life that need to change and made me feel like it might be possible to make a change and make the change stick.

And that's what made me think of the challenge. We can help each other if you'll post a thread about yours so that we can cheer you on. Plus with school about to start I'm again rolling my hands together in greediness for all the quiet time that is about to come my way and excited to find new things to fill it. Who's with me??

[5ft Diva]

Personal challenge, eh? It sounds interesting. I've thought about something along these lines in regard to starting a new habit. I guess the thread would be kind of like a blog on how I'm doing???

---------- Post added at 11:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:55 PM ----------

So I started posting what I wanted to improve on and I can't narrow it down. I start with one idea and then decide it's too big so then I go to something else and decide that before I can improve on that I need to improve on this and then decide that maybe I should improve on something else entirely different and then decide that I need to wait to decide what to improve on because tomorrow I'll feel differently about any of this.... Ugh! This is going to be harder than I thought to narrow down what I would like to improve on.

[Erudite]

Ok...so do you feel like you can share your ideas? Maybe we can help? Maybe someone else wants to improve on the same thing?

---------- Post added at 11:04 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:53 AM ----------

As I've been thinking about this, I've been wondering about the "perfection" idea. Is there an area in my life that I could achieve perfection in? I think there are some areas where we truly are perfect, but they're the easy measurable ones. For example, I am perfect about paying tithing. It gets paid as often as we are paid, and I have a way to track it if by chance I do miss something somewhere. Is there another area that I can be perfect in? Is there a way to measure and track the something? Is there a way I can change my current attitude about the something so that it never gets missed again?

I'm thinking about taking on "daily scripture study" as my personal improvement challenge. It's something I'm often very good at, but no where near perfection forever. Last week, I think I studied every day. This week, I'm counting having been to the Temple and having looked something up on a different day. Scheduling got in the way...so how will I overcome that, since scheduling will often get in the way?

Anyway, those are the thoughts I'm having.

[5ft Diva]

The idea of becoming perfect at something right now overwhelms me. I think I'm gonna just stick with the personal improvement and know that I'm working towards perfection in the process without really focusing on being perfect in that area. You know????

I am interested, E, on your thoughts on measuring personal improvement. More specifically the why it's important and different ways to measure one's improvement. Would you mind typing your thoughts up on that in another thread?

Back to personal improvement: I'm stuck in survival mode right now so I'm back to food issues: I want to do better at my food storage, grocery shopping routine, meal planning, etc. Spiritually speaking, I want to improve in creating an environment where the Spirit is the one that teaches (either myself or others through me). This is really where the why and how measuring progress comes in for me - needing some 101. Thanks for starting this thread - I'm excited to get going on this!

[Erudite]

I see "perfection" at this stage of existence, as something I just keep doing and don't have to think about anymore. Or maybe something so important that I can do it without thinking about it...anyway, not BEING perfect, but in working out the difficulties to do one thing the way it should be done for right now. So, I don't see "perfection" as overwhelming, but as a process of doing one small thing right and then keep doing it...as well as keeping building it. That's enduring in perfection. But don't think about it if the concept feels overwhelming for you.

---------- Post added at 03:03 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:44 PM ----------

I'd say that this is the perfect thread to talk about measuring improvement and it totally needs to be discussed, because it is a really good question. For others reading this...5D and I talked about this a bit on the phone and when she said she'd like to work on the Spirit in the home or an environment where the Spirit teaches, my first thought was...well, how are you going to measure that? So that's the backstory on her question.

I'll start with: I don't know. From this point on, you have my musings on some possible answers. I don't claim "truth".

So...let's see...All teachers of goals say that you need something that is measureable...that is: you need measure to know when you've attained the goal. So is there a point in your personal improvement challenge when you'll suddenly find you can do the thing you've set out to do?

For more abstract goals like "Spiritual environment" that's a little rough. Luckily for us LDS women, that's also a matter of the Spirit, meaning I believe the Spirit will both point out what changes you'd need to make in your home AND point out when something occurs that shows what you're doing is working.

For my personal improvement challenge of daily scripture study, I was going to go with a streak count, keeping track of how many days in a row I study. I'd say that once past the habit making 21, I'm good to go. But I want GREAT and I want the blessings of inspiration talked about in our 100 hour experiment, so I think I'll use that chart to mark my progress. Does that mean I will have attained my goal of improvement?

I've picked something easily measureable to improve me. I know that scripture study is a HUGE part of improving more of me than I currently know. Blessings that come from scripture study are numerous and they aren't as wonderful if our study is sporadic and fleeting. The scriptures promise wisdom when we work to have God in our lives (see Proverbs 9:10) and one of the best ways to approach that is study of what His prophets have taught, thus my interest in improving my scripture study.

As for all other goals that we might consider, I'd say you'd want to determine (through prayer if you feel so impressed) what "attaining" means to you. What finish line do you need to cross to feel improved in the thing you're working on? How will you feel when you do cross that line? Those are the kinds of indicators that you'll want to be on the watch for, if you didn't chose something relatively measureble.

---------- Post added at 03:09 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:03 PM ----------

5D, I totally want to work on menu planning, grocery shopping, and food storage with you! Can I join you in that thread (that you'll start since its your thought) and we'll work on that together?

Also, I'm toying with maybe seeing if I can teach myself to play the piano. I took lessons from ages 8-12 and then my Mom got tired of pushing me and let me opt out. I've never really regretted that (and still don't), but there are times when I, of myself, would like to sit down and make beautiful music. And I can't. In the thinking of the above, I'd consider myself "improved" if I could play the hymns well enough for others to sing them with me. But I don't know...that one feels a little overwhelming because I've tried a little bit in the past and never followed through all the way. If anyone has some thoughts on that, I'd love to hear them.

[runamyrun]

Great thread. All the things that have been posted so far are areas I do need to improve in, but right now I feel that what I need to work most on is quality time with my kids. Mostly because we moved this summer, it has been a CRAZY summer! Most of it I have been in survival mode. And several of the things we have done were fun, but I am ready to get back in a schedule. Unfortunately, while in survival mode, to give myself a mental break I have been getting on the computer too much (for the amount of time I am actually home). Lately my 4 year old has been misbehaving constantly, and I am wondering if she is trying to get attention. So, while I still will get on my computer, I am going to limit my time on there, and make sure I am playing with my kids.

[Meticulous madness]

This IS a great thread. I, too, have a variety of areas I want to improve in, and I'm having a hard time of narrowing it down as well. I get SUPER motivated this time of year (probably because I let my summers be a little more 'fun' and chaotic than I should). I get more motivated at this time of year than I do on January 1st. So, that's a good and bad thing.

Anyway, I'll have to think about it more and prioritize. I'm leaning toward a goal of meal planning, preparation and more strategic shopping. The ultimate goals behind that are of the financial sort, and health/nutrition.

I'd also like to be more routine with my kids, by way of chores, life skills, planned crafts, reading time and bed time. They could use a bit more structure and learning and so could I.

[Erudite]

Awesome thinking, Ladies! Start a new thread when you narrow down to what you want to do. 5D and I are also working on the grocery/meals/food storage one, so you're welcome to join us.

RAR, we'd love to hear how you accomplish your goal!

[Erudite]

This is from the book Influencer by Patterson, et al. I thought it had specifically to do with working toward mastery of a specific skill. It’s long, but it’s worth it.

Perfect Complex Skills
Not all practice is good practice. That’s why many of the tasks we perform at work and at home suffer from “arrested development”. With simple tasks such typing, driving, golf, and tennis, we reach our highest level of proficiency after about 50 hours of practice; then our performance skills become automated. We’re able to execute them smoothly and with minimal effort, but further development stops. We assume we’ve reached our highest performance level and don’t think to learn new and better methods.

With some tasks, we stop short of our highest level of proficiency on purpose. The calculus we perform in our heads suggest that the added effort it’ll take to find and learn something new will probably yield a diminishing marginal return, so we stop learning. For instance, we learn how to make use of a word processor or Web server by mastering the most common moves, but we never learn many of the additional features that would dramatically improve our ability.

This same pattern of arresting our development applied over an entire career yields fairly unsatisfactory results. For example, most professionals progress until they reach an “acceptable” level, and then they plateau. Software engineers, for instance, usually reach their peak somewhere around five years after entering the workforce. Beyond this level of mediocrity, further improvements are not correlated to years of work in the field.

So what does create improvement? According to Dr. Anders Ericsson, improvement is related not just to practice, but to a particular kind of practice—something Ericsson calls deliberate practice. Ericsson has found that no matter the field of expertise, when it comes to elite status, there is no correlation whatsoever between time in the profession and performance levels.

The implications are stunning. A 20-year-veteran brain surgeon is not likely to be any more skilled than a 5-year rookie by virtue of time on the job. Any difference between the two would have nothing to do with experience and everything to do with deliberate practice. Time is required (most elite performers in fields such as music composition, dance, science, fiction writing, chess, and basket ball have put in 10 or more years), but it is not the critical variable for mastery. The critical factor is using time wisely. It’s the skill of practice that makes perfect.

Most of us already have all the evidence we need to confirm that deliberate practice can have an enormous effect on performance levels. Just look at what’s happened to our capacity to teach everything from mathematics to high jumping. Roger Bacon once said that it would take a person 30 to 40 years to master calculus—the same calculus that is taught in most high schools today. Today’s musicians routinely match and even surpass the technical virtuosity of legendary musicians of the past. And when it comes to sports, the records just keep falling. For example, when Johnny Weissmuller of Tarzan fame won his five Olympic gold medals in swimming in 1924, nobody expected that years later high school kids would post better times.

What then, is deliberate practice? And how can we apply the techniques to our vital behaviors and thus strengthen our influence strategy?

I liked the above because it gives so much clear guidance on what it takes to make improvements. The authors then break down the above into specific strategies. I gave a quote from the section for explanation and example…there’s a lot more in the text. The strategies are:

Demand full attention for brief intervals. “Deliberate practice requires steely eyed concentration as students watch exactly what they’re doing, what is working, what isn’t, and why.” (pg. 123)

Provide immediate feedback against a clear standard “Swimming gold medalist Natalie Coughlin …her practice is focused on the minute details of each stroke. She explains: “You’re constantly manipulating the water. The slightest change in pitch in your hand makes the biggest difference.” At the conclusion of each lap, Natalie is acutely aware of the number of strokes she took to complete it, and she adjusts her hand position for the next lap. This kind of focused, deliberate practice enhances performance more rapidly than does merely swimming laps.” (pg.124)

Break Mastery into mini goals. “Influence masters have long known the importance of setting clear and achievable goals. First, they understand the importance of setting specific goals. People say that they understand this concept, but few actually put the concept into practice. For example, average volleyball players set goals to improve their “concentration” (exactly what is that?), whereas top performers decide they need to practice tossing the ball correctly—and they understand each of the elements in the toss.” (pg. 126)

Prepare for setbacks; build in resilience. “As learners overcome more difficult tasks and recover from intermittent defeats, they see that setbacks aren’t permanent roadblocks, but signals that they need to keep learning. When faced with a setback, we need to learn to say, “Aha! I just discovered what doesn’t work,” and not, “Oh no! Once again I’m an utter failure.” We need to interpret setbacks as guides, and not as brakes.” (pg. 129)

[Meticulous madness]

Wow ER! I just took a few minutes to finally read this and I find it fascinating! Thanks for sharing.

I'm definitely guilty of 'knowing' that I need to set specific goals and that it's beneficial (some times necessary) but not actually DOING it.

I am also guilty of not giving many things my total and complete focus at any time. "Deliberate" is a very good word.

I don't think about the minute details of making myself better. I look at it more on a macro level and then wonder why it seems I can't make any noticeable changes at all in self improvement. Or maybe I think about those tiny little things at various times in my life, but then I don't write them down and soon forget that it mattered in the first place. How sad.

Anyway, very eye-opening.

[Erudite]

Hey gals? The challenge included starting a new thread....c'mon, you can do it!

[Erudite]

We had Stake / Regional Conference today and I wanted to give you thought from Sister Beck's talk from us. She said (something close to): We can align ourselves with Him; it takes prioritization and precision rather than perfection. If we prioritize correctly and line ourselves up with Him, we can be confident that He will bless us in all we do.

Isn't that wonderfully hopeful?? I love that prioritization, something I can do and choose to do on a daily basis, is needed rather than perfection (which I still think is possible in some areas). I love the precision is called for...another word for that is "exactness"...which is something we can actively work on, where perfection can seem daunting and ill-defined.

What are your thoughts?