Where do you find your motivation?

[Erudite]

So...I'm talking on the phone to my sister today who says something like "I just need to _____ so that I can put my ____ back together." I said in response, "And how will you go about that?" Then I had to tell her a story about hearing something similar from a good friend and my response was "Well, when ARE you going to get it together?" or something equally rude sounding. Luckily this was a VERY good friend who could say...could you rephrase that? So that I could explain what I was wondering was:

Where/How do you motivate yourself to really make a change?

Once I explained that, my sister had to admit she really didn't know how to approach the problem of making a change that will result in REAL change as opposed to one that makes only temporary improvements. But she got thinking about it and finally said, "You know what, if my office were put together, I'd probably feel more able to get going on my goal." And with that information, I was able to ask if I came and helped, could she get going? She said that would be wonderful so we made a date for that. But it's gotten me thinking. I too need to put a few things back together and make some permanent changes. How do I go about that? Especially considering the number of times and different ways that I've TRIED to make permanent changes. None quite seem to stick.

How do you do it? Where does your motivation come from? Do you need others in the process? If so, can this board attempt to provide that kind of support?

[5ft Diva]

With a lot of help and support. I definitely need others in the process and yes this board can be a support to me.

I'll tell you a recent experience for me. I have been struggling w/ not knowing how to make some changes that I knew needed to be made and not even knowing exactly where to start. I have pondered on this for quite some time (at least 6 months) and my answer finally came to me on Sunday. It was a direct answer to prayer and it is the first of many baby steps yet to come. In short - the atonement is what will be helping me make the permanent changes in my life, and I know they won't come in sweeping motions. They will come bit by bit. I don't know how to explain it. I just know this is how it will be for me.

There is another area in my life where I'm trying to create a new habit. It wasn't even there in the first place....you know.....one of those. Anyway, BS is huge in helping me implement this new habit. I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know from day to day how I'm doing it....yet. I'm working on the plan part of it all still while I walk knee deep through the "swamp". Anyway, just having him there asking me the hard questions that need to be asked by someone who will demand accountability helps me a lot. He doesn't hold back and he doesn't judge. He just asks and doesn't let me make excuses. It is one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. Having someone to report to and talk to about my failures and successes is exactly what I need......I don't know if this makes any sense.

Great topic, E!

[Meticulous madness]

Oooh. Good question ER! I, too, would love to hear what others have to say about this.

It seems like the older I get, the harder it seems to change what needs to be changed. Maybe it's an "old dog, new tricks" sort of thing. It's unnerving. I don't mean this as an excuse, or anything. I just have noticed that I used to be able to detect when a change was in order, and i just did it. I just made the change. Even if it was hard, I knew it needed to be done and didn't think twice.

Now it seems like I have to be all strategic about it, and put it on my calendar and think about it, and talk about it, and dream about it. And then...it still usually doesn't get done anyway (despite my seemingly 'best' efforts). I detest that!

I do know that I have always been very independent. It's hard to admit that I NEED other people to accomplish personal things, or to make changes and goals. But, I am also finding as I get older that the things I am accountable to somebody for, are the first things on my priority list. Because who wants to be unprepared, or to let others down? Not fun!

[Erudite]

Interesting. You both bring up some good points. One you have in common is the accountability factor. We all seem more willing to make a change/do a thing/be somewhere if someone is watching over us. Is it possible then to have YOU watch over you (me watch over me) and be accountable to yourself (myself)? And how can we go about becoming more accountable to ourselves?

[Dia Minha]

We talk about this a lot at my WW meetings. My leader and I have decided if we could bottle and sale that feeling that makes us want to be better and make changes we would be very rich. I'm on a motivational roller coaster. It is a daily struggle to hold on to the desire to be better. One moment I feel so strong, I feel like nothing will get in my way. The next I don't care and I feel like I will never care again. I'm sure it has to do a lot with the depression and fatigue I'm fighting, but it gets very frustrating. I have pondered a lot about what it is I need and I have come to the conclusion that I just don't know. I pray everyday that Heavenly Father will point me in the right direction. I study and research and research and study and pray and pray and pray. I know I'll recieve an answer, I'm just afraid that the deppression is keeping me from hearing it. I know Heavenly Father will find a way to reach me, if I keep working at it.

Not that, that answers your question at all E. Sometimes I feel the need to just make a comment to keep the conversation rolling, because I see something in it that might help me, but just can't quite wrap my head around.

[5ft Diva]

I don't know if it's possible to be accountable to yourself.....not completely in the sense that you're talking about. I think that's why we need each other. Maybe my thinking is wrong, but it seems a bit prideful and arrogant to expect that you can get to a place w/o the help and support of others. I don't know if this thought makes sense.

[Erudite]

Originally Posted by Dia Minha

I'm on a motivational roller coaster. It is a daily struggle to hold on to the desire to be better. One moment I feel so strong, I feel like nothing will get in my way. The next I don't care and I feel like I will never care again.

I am SO THERE with you Dia! This sounds so much like me that I just laughed when I read it. I'm in the "don't care" hole right now sitting on the ground occasionally wondering if there's a ladder to get me out, but just occasionally.

I guess that's why I started this thread. I wonder how others find the will to find the ladder, especially when they find the top is littered with these huges holes, you know? And while you can navigate the holes, you have to blink sometime. (ok, that was just fun imagery to write out... )

So my next question is...what do you keep doing so that you CAN find the ladder? And on the other hand, a question you don't have to write out...what do you find yourself NOT doing when you're in the hole, even though you know it would help you to at least keep your hand on the ladder.

I think it is in these kinds of habits, those we keep and those we NEED to keep but don't, that we'll find some of our answers to navigating the holes.

[Erudite]

Originally Posted by 5ft Diva

I don't know if it's possible to be accountable to yourself.....not completely in the sense that you're talking about. I think that's why we need each other. Maybe my thinking is wrong, but it seems a bit prideful and arrogant to expect that you can get to a place w/o the help and support of others. I don't know if this thought makes sense.

Hmmm, I don't think this was the sense I was talking about. I'm accountable to myself fairly often, because there's no one around me to be accountable to. That means I make my own goals and check them off on a list and pat myself on the back when I'm doing well and attempt to adjust when I'm doing poorly. No one makes me do that. That's what I meant by being accountable to myself. Is that prideful or arrogant?

But if you are tying your first response to this response in that we need the atonement in order to truly make progress, I think you're completely right about that. I don't make goals that I don't also do some praying about and plead for strength and inspiration in the goal. So in that sense, I don't do my goals on my own. And hmmmm the thought that comes next is that I find that I am more accountable to me than I am to my Heavenly Father, in the sense that I may expect more of me than He does, which brings us back to your question "what demands am I making on myself that the Lord is not making or me?"

So...are we trying to motivate ourselves "faster than we are able" or "beyond the mark?" and that's why we find so much difficulty in doing so?

Wow...thanks for listening! That's a question that I need to ponder myself since it just came out as I wrote. What are your thoughts?

[Erudite]

Originally Posted by Erudite

So my next question is...what do you keep doing so that you CAN find the ladder? And on the other hand, a question you don't have to write out...what do you find yourself NOT doing when you're in the hole, even though you know it would help you to at least keep your hand on the ladder.

I think it is in these kinds of habits, those we keep and those we NEED to keep but don't, that we'll find some of our answers to navigating the holes.

I hope you all don't mind me answering my own questions...

One of the things which I do to attempt to keep my hand on the ladder even when I'm in a "don't care" hole is read my scriptures. I KNOW they'll lead me up and out at some point and they did. The day after I wrote this post, I was reading in 3 Nephi 12. This is the beatitudes to the Nephites and they are slightly different from the beattitudes in Matthew 5. One important difference is found in verse 3:

Blessed are the poor in spirit who come unto me, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

I stopped on that verse for two days and looked up all the scriptures around it and pondered the powerful impact that it has. It came to me very forcefully that "poor in spirit" is another way of saying "depressed". That was a new thought for me and in my somewhat depressed state, I suddenly felt blessed. I WAS coming unto Him in my scripture study and knew that there were blessings for doing so, even if my heart felt sad.

But go one step more. The cross references on "come" takes us to Matt. 11:28-30. I've been to that scripture so often that I don't even have to look it up to know what it says, but I did on the 2nd day of studying this verse. It says:

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

I LOVE this scripture!! But look what it says in conjunction with the one in 3 Nephi...those who are depressed and who are laboring under heavy burdens shall find REST in coming unto Him. And then for a few minutes, I stopped carrying the burden of sadness in depression and I let Him carry it. And it was so very restful.

I picked up that burden again though...so now I've typed this out for a visual reminder of what to do and how to move forward in hope. I'm not saying that all depression can be cured by prayer and scripture study, but that in looking for answers through those actions, the answers are more complete, easier to implement, and healing (a step toward motivation) becomes possible.

[Meticulous madness]

Very nice, ER!!!

I love your thought-provoking questions, and I love the scriptural references and insights, too! Much to think about.

[5ft Diva]

Remind me to call you when I am feeling depressed! This answer is so much easier on the ears than, "Well, just feel better." Or the infamous, "Get over it." I love, E, that even when you are amidst hard times you still look to God for answers. Thank you for being a great example to me. (You have no idea.)