Chap. 4 - state of be-ing

[Erudite]

This is the kind of post that maybe should be a blog, but I thought it should all go together. I guess I say that because it feels like more of a testimony to me than a question/concern/discussion starter.

I was struck by the following ideas as being true in my life:

When we accept ourselves the way we are, we increase our ability to change, and when we start to change, those around us do likewise.

We may still recognize when someone would be happier if they chose to change, but, we also understand that it's much easier for us to allow them to change in their own way and at their own speed without our help--as we are not the one responsible for making that change in them. When we arrive at this place in our knowledge and understanding, we naturally move forward in life with more ease. We are more open, more receptive and more able to gain futher understanding and knowledge. We are more tolerant and accepting of the experiences that challenge us and teach us those things which are necessary for our learning and growth. These growth experiences will no longer be a hard procedure we fell we HAVE to go through, but rather one of anticipation that we GET to go through.

The wonderful prospect and attitude of accepting everything and everyone as perfect, is that change is also perfect! What you are going through is perfect. It will cause you to move toward the growth you are to experience, gaining the understanding or learning the lessons that are necessary for you to learn in this life. With this frame of mind, your life becomes more fluid--more flowing without you feeling the need to always run thing your way, thereby blocking God's way. (p. 51-52)

While I don't think I've made it to feeling like the above ALL the time, I do have days and moments where I know I've gotten here and it is such a peaceful strenthening feeling. As I was typing this, I thought about some of the experiences that have made me feel this way.

One of those is the effort to give over to God's Will no matter what. Part of doing that for me has been the recognition of the power and spread of the atonement. Just before the above quote in the book it talks about loving people just as they are and accepting them for just who they are. In working with people, who are wonderful people, but who like all people don't do everything right all the time, I have had to just say, "We need the atonement to make up for that lack" because it wasn't anything I could make up for...and probably shouldn't even worry about making up for it. So I don't...that is don't worry about it. As the quote above says, the path we're on is perfect....and in recognizing that even when (or possibly ESPECIALLY WHEN) things don't go the way we intended them to go, being able to recognize that the new path might be a good one, is a good and sane way to think.

Anyway...I hope that all makes sense. Like I said, it was just a recognition of a milestone I feel like I have gotten to and that I keep getting to. Someday, I'll get all the way over it and never go back...knock on wood. Thanks for listening!

[Meticulous madness]

I'm glad you posted these quotes, and shared your feelings, too.

Such great words!

[Meticulous madness]

One of the main (round-about) things I got out of this part of the book was the incessent need to be FLEXIBLE. Being open "when things don't go our way" can really open up many possibilities and experiences for our own betterment, if only we allow them to. This is a difficult thing for me, I'm sad to admit. I'll have to work on it whole-heartedly.

I also personally NEEDED to read the part about allowing others time and space to change, and how we are not responsible for making the change in others. It is our responsibility to love unconditionally; however. This is easier to do when we love ourselves, unconditionally.

We've talked about this type of thing in other threads on this forum. We do all we can do, to love, honor, respect, teach (etc.) the people in our lives that we care deeply about. In the end, it is up to them (with their free agency) to choose what they will do, how they will act, yada...yada...


I think these quotes were just some very good reminders.

[Erudite]

I just have to share one of my favorite "ah-ha"s about loving yourself. It's a part of a larger work, but it always makes me smile when I re-read this part:

As I was thinking about developing charity one evening, the Spirit put the thought into my head that I needed to start with myself. I needed to learn to love me just as I am at this very moment, and in all the moments past, and all the moments of my future. I need to learn to love me without reservation, without criticism, without qualifications. You see, I found myself loving me…when I lose 20 lbs. I love me, if I don’t embarrass myself by saying just the wrong thing. I love me, if I never get mad at my kids. I love me, if I can keep up with my house and yard, bake the bread, do the laundry, hold down a part-time job, assist my children in practicing the piano, do my calling and my visiting teaching…all without feeling overwhelmed or stressed or frustrated. All the “ifs” in my life make loving me difficult, because it’s difficult to keep up with the standard I’ve given myself. If I fail in one aspect, I lose love for myself. And that’s not fair to me. And it definitely isn’t charity for me.

I understand this, because I’ve come to KNOW that my Heavenly Father loves me. I know that Jesus loves me. I know they both love me no matter what weight I am, no matter how dumb I sound, no matter if the bread gets baked or if the laundry gets done. They love me if I am happy, or sad, or mad. They love me if I'm not perfect in my calling or not always the picture of happiness to my children. I KNOW that.

[Mamallama]

Great thoughts and quotes ER and M&M. I appreciate you sharing---and It does make a lot of sense. I feel so good just reading all of this---it's hitting home----thanks!