Book: Behind Every Good Man

[Erudite]

Title: Behind Every Good Man: Helping your Husband Take the Spiritual Lead at Home
Author: John Bytheway
Pages: 126 (but they are small with huge print and a ton of quotes); it's a SUPER fast read.
Genre: self-help

The title says it all with this book, except that he spends the first half of the book telling you how the question can't be taken care of until the relationship has moved to a place where expectations can be communicated. That means if the relationship is built on complaining, nagging, or criticism, you aren't going to be able to get the husband in the spirital lead. More likely he'll have resigned the role to the wife, and felt like the wife asked him to do so because she is always telling him how it should be done better. He describes this very well using specific examples that really make you blush when you realize how often you're guilty.

So about half way in, if you have a good relationship, he suggests that you start with communicating your expectations in concrete terms and with an "exit". So don't say "I expect you to get our family to the celestial kingdom." You say "It would help our family if you were to call the family together for prayers each evening." This is concrete and doesn't mean he's on the hook for everyone's salvation.

And then his other major tool is PRAISE for doing those things that do lead the family in spiritual things. Everyone does better with praise and most will try even harder to be what they're praised to be, so he suggests lots and lots of it.

Those are the major points of the book. I highly recommend it to all. It was very useful in our family. I have a good relationship with my DH, but I've wanted him to figure out that he needed to take the lead in some things without my pointing it out. He didn't read my mind...oddly enough . So I sat him down and told him about the book and about the suggestions and we talked about the fact that I'm the planner and the scheduler, but I very much need him to be the enforcer of the plan and the schedule. So now HE calls for prayers at a specific time and HE sits down with a child for FHE and plans out the lesson with the child and then calls us all to FHE. All I needed to do was to communicate my expectations and hear what he thought of that and the discuss how each of us could and would take a part in what was happening.

Oh that's something I forgot to say. Bro. Bytheway doesn't suggest that the husband should do all, but that there should be a communication on what is done in the home so that what is important gets done. As you can see, I plan with my DH and he enforces the plan. I'm sure other couples would work it out differently. And now I need to get off the comp and go write him a thank you note for calling the family together last night for FHE...that's the praise part.

Good little book!

[Meticulous madness]

I love that guy! He's wonderful.

I'll have to read the book. Sounds good.